Hating on the $EC - Mostly Alabama (and a little Georgia too)

[hack]

I told John that, and was clear that it was payment up front and no refunds. Caveat Emptor though.

[THE_WIZARD_]

Apparently JWB was making enough in porn...he didn't need your loot...

[Wild Hoss]

I told John that, and was clear that it was payment up front and no refunds. Caveat Emptor though.

lol

[AlabamAlum]

I detect a touch of sarcasm. Which reminds me...

The Molopo River roughly transects the southern border of the Kalahari Desert. The river is essentially a long, thin oasis which stretches 600 miles across the iconic orange sands of the region. The Kalahari is beautiful, but non-forgiving and harsh.

As I make my way toward the river, still about eight clicks away, my eyes begin to play tricks on my sun-scorched mind. I am certain that I see something move ahead, but as I get closer I find nothing but the bleached bones of an unlucky kudu. As I pass the carcass, I get the feeling I'm being watched. I look back at the bones and immediately surmise that seeing the kudu's skull, its "face", is the genesis of my uneasiness. A desert is solitary confinement without need of walls and the psychosis of such isolation -with walls or without- is well known.

Still looking at the kudu, I say out loud, "I have got to get water soon or I will end up with my bones bleaching in the sun, too." I pause for a few seconds too long, like I was expecting an answer, before my mind snaps back to reality and I continue my march.

Two hours later, I reach the river bed. It's dry. My heart sinks. I have been three days without water. With the heat of the desert and the exertion to get to the river, it seems much longer. I slump to the ground and lean against a camelthorn tree in complete resignation.

"So this is how I die," I mutter, not as a question; rather, as a declaration of fact. "Fine. So be it."

I start to think of my childhood, Thanksgiving dinners of years past, college, old girlfriends, and the fateful decision that led me to this place. Behind me, I hear a noise; someone -or some thing- coming. Or is this another hallucination? I can't muster the energy to care, let alone move.

[THE_WIZARD_]

At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this forum is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

[hack]

Everyone in this forum is now dumber for having listened to it.

Even Wiz! That's why I love this forum -- it expands my understanding of what's possible.

[iam416]

If The Wizard is as dumb as his words, and the accounting is scrupulous, then it's bordering on universal constant that every one of his statements contains some amount of error. In this case, I still believe that The Wizard's stupidity reached its asymptote years ago. Every word he utters brings the community closer to his world. Fortunately, while we are all goddamn fools for posting here, the distance between us and The Wizard is still measured the distance light can travel and not the infernal, debil's work metric system.

[THE_WIZARD_]

This is the next statue coming down fuckface...

[hack]

Looks like a fuckin' loser. And probably not even housebroken.

[THE_WIZARD_]

He had a hell of a roundhouse swing though...

[THE_WIZARD_]

Should have made this the statue...

[CGVT]

Best hit by OSU all game.

[THE_WIZARD_]

heh

[AlabamAlum]

Two hours later, I reach the river bed. It's dry. My heart sinks. I have been three days without water. With the heat of the desert and the exertion to get to the river, it seems much longer. I slump to the ground and lean against a camelthorn tree in complete resignation.

"So this is how I die," I mutter, not as a question; rather, as a declaration of fact. "Fine. So be it."

I start to think of my childhood, Thanksgiving dinners of years past, college, old girlfriends, and the fateful decision that led me to this place. Behind me, I hear a noise; someone -or some thing- coming. Or is this another hallucination? I can't muster the energy to care, let alone move.

The noise gets louder. I can hear something breathe and get closer. Slow. Methodical. It's taking its time to get to me. Like it's trying to savor the moment. The lions of the Kalahari are big. Maybe that's what it is? I hope it's quick.

Resolved to my fate, I admit to myself that I deserve this. You see, besides the sand, and kudu, and giant lions, the Kalahari is known for its diamonds. That's what brought me here. Diamonds. A double cross. A theft. The details are interesting, I suppose, but I had no time to go through them.

I close my eyes waiting for fate to mete out its cosmic justice...

[THE_WIZARD_]

For the love of Christ...SHUT THE FUCK UP!