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Hating on the $EC - Mostly Alabama (and a little Georgia too)

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  • harshly pathetic
    Shut the fuck up Donny!

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    • It was a blustery, frozen night as I walked into the dank and austere Liberty Bowl on the late December night of 1982. Slow barges lumbered down the Mighty River. Blues bands played a somber dirge on close by Beale Street - as if they were heralding in a fresh lamb to the slaughter.

      The Mighty Fighting Illini were big. They were strong. They were mean. The wounded and much-beleaguered Crimson Tide team formed a thin red line as they shielded themselves from the cold and valiantly headed onto the tundra that night.

      The rifle-armed All-American, Tony Eason, set his angular jaw against the gale-like, frozen winds on that dark Memphis night. Like a gridiron Baryshnikov, Eason’s 6’4” frame danced nimbly through the pregame warm-ups as he focused his mind on the task at hand: Embarrassing – no humiliating – the great, but terminally ill Paul Bryant and his rag-tag band of undersized and injured players...

      Head Coach of the Mighty Fighting Illini, Mike White, knew a pro career lay ahead of him. He chuckled slightly as he perused the gameplan and thought to himself, “This is Bryant’s last game. I’ll make him wish he’d quit sooner.”

      The ailing Bryant grimaced as he slowly emerged from the tunnel. Heart disease was killing him and he knew his doctors had warned him about coaching this game, especially considering the extremely harsh weather. He struggled to keep from letting his family – the players – see him in such mind-searing pain as he covertly placed a nitroglycerin tablet under his tongue. He never wanted this game to be about him. He simply wanted the players to hold their heads high and compete honorably for the University, their families, and most importantly, themselves. “Make your mamas proud," he growled as the last of the players and trainers ran from the tunnel.

      Somehow, Alabama had managed to keep it close through most of the game; however, Eason was driving his team for what should have been the winning score. But Alabama's defense came through ... one last time for Bryant. Afterward, the young Illinois coach said that he had never seen a team hit as hard as Alabama that day. Bama was outgunned and out-manned, but they played with incredible heart and won the game for Bear on desire and grit alone.

      That fateful Liberty Bowl was played on December 29, 1982. Less than one month later Bryant would die of heart disease. Coincidentally, less than one month after that, his beloved wife of 59 years, Mary Harmon Bryant, would die, too.

      From the time Bryant first prowled the sidelines at the University of Alabama in 1958, until the day he died in 1983, no other team in the Nation won as many games, had as high of a winning percentage, or as many championships. And no one was really even close.
      "The problem with quotes on the Internet is that it is sometimes hard to verify their authenticity." -Abraham Lincoln

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      • This morning a damp wind rushed in through my partially opened bedroom window and ruffled the crumpled cotton sheets. The early morning sun struggled to break through ominous gray clouds in a weak attempt to top the dark hills that roughly frame my land. The neighbors’ dogs yelped and howled at the distant claps of thunder over the cacophonous soundtrack of an old riding lawnmower. The squeaky hinge of a storm-loosened shutter screamed for oil. This harsh and obnoxious clatter finally forced an unwilling Morpheus to relinquish his control of my dream-like, semiconscious state.

        I am now awake, but I certainly don’t want to be.

        Against my will - and much like a junkie driven by an irrepressible jones - the smell of freshly brewed coffee pulls me from my bed and I lumber to the kitchen to pour myself a cup of hot comfort. Groggily, I drink, rub my aching brow, and yawn. Time is in limbo. With the kitchen window closed the sounds that so rudely pulled me from my deep slumber are now inaudible. It is quiet - almost reverent. All is calm until the memory of yesterday wrestles my thoughts from me.

        Did it really happen? Could it be true? I have to know for sure.

        The cup is now empty but my dealer, Mr. Coffee, is beckoning me to return for another dose. Summoning my dubious willpower, I ignore its siren song and open my front door and proceed to trip through the cool morning dew of my yard to retrieve the chronicle of the previous day’s events: the Tuesday morning paper.

        Upon return, and with the second cup of coffee in hand, I quickly discard the unnecessary and wholly irrelevant front-page and classifieds. Sales papers and obituaries are cast asunder and festooned around my living room. With malice, the travel and business sections are quickly dispatched as I secure the object of my frantic search: The sports page. My mind is racing: Did I dream it? Was it a figment of my imagination? Was my drunken state responsible for conjuring some joyous memory of yore and superimposing it on my present-day reality? Did the University of Alabama really win the SEC championship? Was fitting tribute once again placed at the recently defiled Altar of Bryant?

        The Truth is confirmed: Alabama did post a glorious and valiant victory in the battle with the evil reptilian marauders and their amoral leader. The taste of my coffee sweetens with the thought. I quickly read and re-read the article as if the box score would transmogrify in front of my sleepy eyes and betray my now contented mind. To my nervous relief the words hold true to their original message and the cosmic change on my surroundings is instantly palpable.

        Like the promise of a rainbow after a storm, the day begins to take on a warm luster. The Earth is now a better, happier place. The foreboding heavens follow suit as the storm clouds hurriedly retreat from view and give way to a vibrant and intense sunlight that shines more vividly than anytime in recent memory. The visual rapture of that brightness overflows onto the surrounding hills and bathes the entire area with a divine brilliance that provides a shimmering, iridescent halo to all that it touches.

        This breathtaking and spiritually reborn vista is joined in perfect accompaniment by the clean, sweet scent of my once dying - now thriving - magnolia trees. The recently blighted, brown-leafed trees now proudly flaunt healthy hues of rich forest green. Birds return to their nests and squirrels zigzag across the plush lawn. Children laugh and play and run and sing the happy songs of youth and innocence again. Like dominoes, one positive turn leads to another as happiness spreads from house to house; from neighborhood to neighborhood; from city to city; and, ultimately, the entire Earth returns to its correct axis and orbit.

        I am now comforted and my psyche healed. I am whole. And like the Israelites, after wandering in the wilderness for years, I will take this miraculous manna from heaven and nourish myself until completely sated. The villainous usurper is banished and contentment and joy - rapturous joy - are scepter and orb symbols of the returned and rightful King.

        Above, heaven and gods blush with obvious envy at their worldly superiors. Truly, this game was the salve and nectar that my battered soul craved.
        "The problem with quotes on the Internet is that it is sometimes hard to verify their authenticity." -Abraham Lincoln

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        • I was wondering when the Tuscaloosa LAIR!!! would post his Liberty Bowl story...
          Shut the fuck up Donny!

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          • Sorry, I know it took a while. I was waiting until Scott Frost won a game.
            "The problem with quotes on the Internet is that it is sometimes hard to verify their authenticity." -Abraham Lincoln

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            • burn

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              • AlabamAlum: why do you hate The Wizard?
                "The stockings were hung by the chimney with care, .. I'd worn them for weeks, and they needed the air"

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                • He doesn't hate me.

                  He loathes me.

                  Never undersell AA...
                  Shut the fuck up Donny!

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                  • Well, yeah, .. but when someone can regale us with stories of the glory days of the Liberty Bowl, he should be able to give us some sound reasoning why he hates you so.

                    Not a Jeff-length explanation, .. just the Reader's Digest version would suffice.
                    "The stockings were hung by the chimney with care, .. I'd worn them for weeks, and they needed the air"

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                    • Because he's a dick...
                      Shut the fuck up Donny!

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                      • I love Wiz like a brother. A smelly, retarded, moronic idiot of a brother, but a brother nonetheless.
                        "The problem with quotes on the Internet is that it is sometimes hard to verify their authenticity." -Abraham Lincoln

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                        • Originally posted by AlabamAlum View Post
                          I love Wiz like a brother. A smelly, retarded, moronic idiot of a brother, but a brother nonetheless.
                          ...
                          Attached Files
                          Shut the fuck up Donny!

                          Comment


                          • Rudolf Spielmann > Paul Morphy
                            Dan Patrick: What was your reaction to [Urban Meyer being hired]?
                            Brady Hoke: You know.....not....good.

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                            • Auburn hires Harsin from Boise. Meh.
                              "The problem with quotes on the Internet is that it is sometimes hard to verify their authenticity." -Abraham Lincoln

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                              • Very meh. Hugh Freeze would have been the fun hire.
                                AAL 2023 - Alim McNeill

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