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The instruction manual on how to operate your Harbaugh.
▪ Your Harbaugh does not function like other head coaches. An innocuous query about the weather, for instance, could trigger a florid quote from Admiral William Halsey. And yet a routine question about a running back’s knee injury may cause your Harbaugh to wince, pause and grimace as if a malodorous scent has wafted into the room. Your Harbaugh’s default in this instance is: “We don’t really talk about that here” or “I can’t get inside his body” or “He’s working through something.” This is a design flaw our technicians have not yet worked out.
▪ You may notice that your Harbaugh never shuts off. This is normal.
▪ There are still a few bugs in the answer-response system. For instance, you may sense – due to a long pause – that your Harbaugh has completed an answer. You will begin to ask another question. You could be two sentences into your question when your Harbaugh suddenly continues his answer to the previous question. You will feel stupid. Do not be alarmed. This is normal.
▪ Your Harbaugh will be enormously affectionate one day and cold and distant the next. This is normal.
▪ Your Harbaugh will not alter his attire in a 1,460-day span. This is normal.
▪ Your Harbaugh will guard his practices like North Korea guards its missile program. He will tell you he’s concerned you will inadvertently leak information that will fall into enemy hands. He will say this with a straight face and will tell you that he mines other teams’ media reports for that type of information. There will be no evidence, however, that he does this or that it has been helpful. You will conclude he is being overly paranoid. This is normal.
▪ Your Harbaugh may arrive one day with a chipped tooth, a bent finger or a gash across his forehead. This is normal.
▪ Your Harbaugh has been programmed for combat and within six months will pick a fight with the biggest, baddest bully on the block. Urban Meyer, you have been warned.
▪ Your Harbaugh often will double-down on words for emphasis: “A-plus, plus,” “erroneous, erroneous,” “wonderful, wonderful.” This is not a glitch. Do not bring your Harbaugh in for repair. This is normal.
▪ Warning: Do not seek constructive criticism on your Harbaugh’s players. He will utter nothing but praise. A rule of thumb for operating your Harbaugh: Players who earn the heaviest amounts of praise often deserve it the least. (See Jenkins, A.J, and Baldwin, Jon).
▪ Your Harbaugh has been designed for offense and will require many high-end parts to run said offense. Yet his defense will be better than his offense. This paradox has not been explained.
▪ You may be tempted to pour Gatorade on your Harbaugh. This is not recommended unless temperatures exceed 75 degrees Fahrenheit (23.9 degrees Celsius.)
▪ You will enjoy your Harbaugh, especially at first. Then you will want to kick your Harbaugh in the shins. In the end, you will realize that your Harbaugh is perhaps the most unique operating system ever created and that you have been lucky to have had a chance to experience it. Some assembly required. Ages 18 and up.
The one on how he guards practices needs to be amended a bit....
"He guards his practices in Ann Arbor, but then he takes the team all the way to Florida for open practices. While this may seem a bit schizophrenic, its actually normal operation. Do not contact technical support."
Michigan head coach Jim Harbaugh said Saturday afternoon that fourth-year receiver Jaron Dukes and fourth-year cornerback Reon Dawson have opted to "medically retire" from football -- which ends their careers as Wolverines.
Harbaugh also said that junior receiver Freddy Canteen recently "underwent surgery the other day on his shoulder." Asked if Canteen -- who was not listed on Michigan's roster Saturday -- is still a part of the program, Harbaugh did not say either way. "I haven't gotten the results back on his surgery," Harbaugh said. "I'll get back to you on that. When I know more information."
“Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.” - Groucho Marx
There's no way Speight is our starting Qb come game 1 right?
F#*K OHIO!!!
You're not only an amazingly beautiful man, but you're the greatest football mind to ever exist. <-- Jeffy Shittypants actually posted this. I knew he was in love with me.
Sounds like we're on the same page. Its just painful to read he's in the conversation right now. O'Korn needs to figure this out quickly.
F#*K OHIO!!!
You're not only an amazingly beautiful man, but you're the greatest football mind to ever exist. <-- Jeffy Shittypants actually posted this. I knew he was in love with me.
Receivers, offensive line, tight ends and running backs should make whoever the QB's job is relatively easy. Even the defense should be very good. M only needs a game manager.
Receivers, offensive line, tight ends and running backs should make whoever the QB's job is relatively easy. Even the defense should be very good. M only needs a game manager.
I'm not sure I agree with that. Sure, a game manager at QB is fine if you want to win something like 9 games in the regular season. But if you want to win the conference and that is going to require beating both MSU and osu on the road, somebody on the team needs to make big plays in those games and maybe a couple of others that should be gimmies but won't be.
Considering the QB gets more touches than any other player, it might as well be him. In fact, it should be him and I'm pretty sure Harbuagh expects exactly that to happen.
Nope, whoever lines up at QB has to be a good bit more than a game manager.
Mission to CFB's National Championship accomplished. But the shine on the NC Trophy is embarrassingly wearing off. It's M B-Ball ..... or hockey or volley ball or name your college sport favorite time ...... until next year.
Ohio State won a National Title with Craig Krenzel...
Depends on where your expectations are, here is Rudock from 2015:
CMP ATT PCT YDS AVG TD INT RAT
249 389 64.0 3017 7.8 20 9 141.5
Rudock at Iowa was a game manager. Even less than that early in the season for M then did really well over his last five games as a Wolverine though playing Rutgers and Indiana's defenses helped.
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