M-Borg vs. THE Flavortown U Thread, Orig. by Buckeye Paul, absconded w/by talent.

[lineygoblue]

you guys need to apply for membership in the NFL.

Why even mess with such inferior competition in college football?

Ohio could use a real NFL team.

[Jeff Buchanan]

...... good one. You are definitely on today.

[iam416]

Well, Ohio State is already better than the Lions, though I'm not sure that makes them an NFL team.

[lineygoblue]

Absolutely. Which is why your boys should join the NFL right now. If they played the Browns, Bengals and Lions twice each, they'd be guaranteed 6 victories per year, for just stepping onto the field. Find a way to win 4 more, and they're probably in the NFL playoffs.

[Rob F]

To borrow a phrase from "Wayne's World ", We are not worthy! We are not worthy!

[lineygoblue]

You got that right, Rob. Just ask any of them. That's what they believe, and 99% of them are serious when they say it.

[Mike]

Except that they're right and they prove it every November.

[Pasadena Blue]

I am not convinced Webb will stick with Ohio ... I am half expecting a Reon Dawson style tweet.

[Tony G]

Ohio State Forced To Clarify That Woody Hayes Never Let A Turtle Bite His Penis

Barry Petchesky

Urban Meyer was a featured speaker at this weekend's Ohio High School Coaches' Convention. It might never have been noticed, except for one story that grabbed the interest of CoachingSearch.com:

"So I guess Ohio State had lost the bowl game, so Earl Bruce brings in Woody Hayes. I had been there just a week and I'm thinking, 'Holy, this is Coach Hayes.' I'm sitting in the back. Coach Hayes was not healthy at the time, but stands up and starts laying into the coaching staff about toughness. That we have no toughness in the program. That's why we lost the game. On and on and screaming, this old guy pounding the table. He says, 'We have no toughness, and the reason is because you're not tough. No one on this staff is tough enough, and that's a problem.'
"He reaches down and grabs this box, slides the top and there was something in the box moving around. He reaches in and he pulls out this turtle. He reaches down, this turtle's snapping and he says, 'I'm going to show you toughness.' He unzips his pants and takes out whatever he takes out. The turtle reaches up and snaps at him. You see the veins and the sweat (on Hayes). He screams at the coaches, 'That's toughness! That's f'n toughness!' He reaches down, pokes the turtle right in the eye and it falls off. He wipes the sweat off his forehead and says, 'That's the problem. We don't have anybody in this room tough enough to do that right there.
"(One assistant) raises his hand and says, 'Coach, I'd do this. Just promise not to poke me in the eye.'"

The story got traction on the internet today, and some poor bastard in Ohio State's communications office was forced to address it.

Paul Myerberg @PaulMyerberg Ohio State sends out an advisory saying a turtle never bit Woody Hayes in the privates. Urban was exaggerating in a joking fashion, per OSU



It's a long offseason.

[Optimus Prime]

Was Mrs. Hayes actually a trutle?

[hack]

That's how they think its done down there.

[Mike]

I've heard Woody Hayes was a rampant child molester. Let's see the osu AD address that!

[Rocky Bleier]

Wait a minute...Urban made up a story about Woody letting a turtle bite his penis? Seriously?

[Optimus Prime]

OSU.... sick bastards.

[iam416]

It was Earle Bruce last year. I liked that version better. Funny story, though. Always good for a huge laugh.