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Grammar... The difference between feeling your nuts and feeling you're nuts.
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BRUINS CENTER PATRICE BERGERON is back to his usual minutes (18:22 a game through Oct. 26) now that he's recovered from the litany of injuries he endured in spring's Stanley Cup finals, when he led Boston to the brink of another title. "When I have kids, I'll say, 'I played with Patrice Bergeron,'" defenseman Torey Krug says. But Bergeron, 28, whose busy offseason included marriage, a contract extension and new ink, shrugs off playing through the injuries. "My teammates would've done the same thing," he says. Here, he explains how he put mind over misery with the Cup on the line, cementing his rep as one of the toughest in the game.
Torn rib cartilage
Earlier in the postseason, I had gotten stitches on my eyebrow and a cut on my nose. But my string of injuries really all started with the cartilage in my rib, which was torn on a hit -- I don't remember which one -- in Game 3 of the finals. My body was in a bad position to receive the hit, so I twisted. I've never gotten stabbed, but that's what it felt like. You don't realize how much you use your core until you get hurt there.
Cracked rib
I broke my rib in Game 4. From that point on, it was hard to breathe. In Game 5, I got hit again during the first period. After the second period, the trainers were worried about my spleen being injured. But I was really frustrated. It's a huge game for us, and we're down by two at that point! I'm trying to get back on the ice, trying to tell the trainers I might be able to skate another shift or two. But they made me go straight to the hospital.
Punctured lung, separated shoulder
Before Game 6, with us down 3-2, I saw a specialist who said the only way I could play was to get a nerve block that'd freeze the area around the rib. So I got one, and another that night. During warm-ups it wasn't quite right, so we did another shot. I separated my shoulder in the first period on a fall along the boards. By the third, I couldn't breathe. After the game, it felt like my chest was closing in on me.
Collapsed lung
After our Game 6 loss, I went to Mass General, where they found that 30 percent of my lung was collapsed. One of the shots might have touched or punctured it. They put in a tube to drain the area and fill it back up. It hurt, but it was more frustrating that we weren't coming out of it with a Stanley Cup. That was all I could think about. My fiancee was like, "Worry about your health. We'll worry about the loss later." But I hated doing all that work for nothing.
Linked and inked
I got married on July 20. For the honeymoon, we just went to my wife's parents' cottage in Quebec because I still had to do rehab. I also got my first tattoo: a guardian, with the words "Master of your destiny" in French. I wanted something that looks after me.Grammar... The difference between feeling your nuts and feeling you're nuts.
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1997 Jeep Cherokee (XJ)
220K Miles
4.0 L in-line 6
4WD
AUTOMATIC Transmission
Bright Red
Straight Stock
Crank Windows, no cruise, no tilt, no delay wiper, no nonsense
POWER MIRRORS! Woo Hoo!
$1750
Here's the deal, kids:
This is a Jeep Cherokee. This is not a luxury SUV, or a maintenance-free disposable import. It has solid front axles, wind noise, and character.
It's a Jeep. It rides like a Jeep. It drives like a Jeep. All of these are GOOD things.
It is not new, it is not pristine, it is used. This will be apparent in the pictures.
If you do not own a toolbox, have never changed your own oil, and are scared of firearms: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
If you have been posting on facebook all about how excited you are for pumpkin latte season: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
If you get offended easy and often, whine to your co-workers, and bitch a lot: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
If you feel you are owed anything in the world & have a bullshit job where you fail to produce: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
If you own a bieber album, white oakleys, affliction t-shirts, or those candy-assed stitched-pocket jeans: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
If you consider the 2nd Amendment an anachronistic relic and have never owned a firearm: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
If, however, you have BALLS OF STEEL and consider adverse weather an excuse to do stupid [Callahan's Ugly Stepchild]: THIS IS YOUR JEEP.
Do you laugh at danger, and tempt fate?
Have you ever uttered the words, "Hold my beer and watch this ..."?
While bored at work do you pick targets at random and think, "I could hit that from here with the .22 ..."?
Have any of your friends quit hanging out because you were too much fun?
Do you have the number of a friend with cash memorized for bail?
When you pass an abandoned flatbed farm truck along a fenceline do you consider taking on another project?
Is your ol' lady really sick of the random piles of parts, greasy footprints, and empty beer bottles in the garage?
-could you not care less?
Do you have Jalopnik saved on your laptop AND smartphone?
Do you own a service manual for every vehicle you ever owned?
Do you still miss your first ride?
Can you carry on a two hour conversation discussing tools, scars, and hi-lift jacks?
Remember when tool companies had the balls to put half-naked beauty queens on their calendars?
Do you consider the Prius an abominable affront to the Gods of displacement, torque, and All Mighty Internal Combustion?
If you answered in the affirmative to the preceding: THIS IS YOUR JEEP.
DETAILS:
-I am the second owner. First owner barely got it dirty and engaged the front axles once.
-I have remedied this excessive caretaking with muddy roads and a pile of fun.
-The motor uses a little oil. How much? I don't know, I'm not collecting statistical analysis points.
I check the oil, I fill the oil, I drive. Not enough to bother me.
-It leaks a little oil. How much? Not enough for me to care. It has 220,000 miles, Poindexter!
If you have a vehicle with 220K NOT leaking or burning oil, it's empty!
-Rear bumper has a big-ass crease in it. I dented it backing into a concrete pole. Sober.
We drove away giggling, for the record. Haven't fixed it.
-Driver's side door was caught by the wind, whipped forward, got into the LF quarter panel.
-Radiator has a small leak. Pinhole. I can replace the radiator or you can. Really doesn't matter
A new radiator and hoses will run $145. If you don't want to replace them I will.
Add $250 to the price of vehicle. This includes radiator, hoses, and labor (beer). A freaking bargain.
-The badass little 4.0L bullet-proof in-line six starts and runs like the proverbial champ.
-Tranny and 4WD operate perfectly
-Tires will need replaced in a couple thousand miles. I haven't upgraded because I had plans:
Had planned a small lift, upgrade to 17" Wrangler wheels, and more aggressive tires.
Life got in the way - it ain't happening.
-Zombie stickers on the right rear window stay. My daughter's idea, take it up with her.
-Flogging Molly sticker stays as well. They kick ass, so there.
QUESTIONS:
-Why are you selling?
I can't justify owning it anymore. Motorsickles, kiddos, work, travel, and beer have consumed my time and money.
Someone else needs to appreciate the Jeep for what it is: awesome mechanical artistry.
-What's wrong with it?
Radiator. Small oil leaks. Driver's side door cosmetic issues.
And it's pissed it has been neglected and parked. It needs rescued.
-Does the 4WD work?
Hell yes. Like a Dickensian Orphan.
-Will you sell me the [engine / tranny / rear door / axle / etc.]?
No. I'm not in the salvage business. Buy the Jeep. Love the Jeep. Give the Jeep a home.
-Will you take [insert ridiculously stupid low number here]?
No. If I wanted [ridiculously low number] I would have asked [ridiculously low number]
Want a cheap car? Get your kid that lowered tuner piece of [Callahan's Ugly Stepchild] honda project down the road.
I think I'm plenty cheap for this bad mofo.
-Why is it still stock?
Because I bought it for a daily driver with the intention of turning it into a project.
I haven't had the time to do so. So I am selling it.
-Can I put a 6" lift and giant tires on it?
I don't give a [Callahan's Ugly Stepchild]. But be sure to use quality components and for God's sake - get it aligned after a lift!
-Would this make a good car for my daughter?
Hell. Yes. Not only a good car, a learning experience. Introduction to vehicular maintenance.
Additionally, there isn't really enough room in the back for that little bastard she's dating to try anything.
-Can you deliver?
Within reason. I'd drive it a hundred miles or so. But really, you should come get it. Look it over. Have a beer. Etc.
-Will you take a check / cashier's check / Western Union Transfer / Nigerian Promissory Note?
Would you take a ball pein hammer to the forehead?
No. I'll take Cash. Period. Bring cash or don't show.
-Will you ship to -?
No. See above.
-No, really, all I have is [lowball dollar amount]?
That's great, I don't give a [Callahan's Ugly Stepchild]. Unicef ain't running this deal, and until they do I want $1750.
Why? Because I don't HAVE to sell this little beauty. Truth be known, I'd rather keep it.
But if it's going to a good home - I will sell. Unless you're an [Callahan's Ugly Stepchild] - then no sale.
-Why are you such a dick?
Everything is relative; you should see my friends.
Any other questions, feel free to reply to this email and ask.Grammar... The difference between feeling your nuts and feeling you're nuts.
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