Matt Stafford is the suckiest suck to ever suck

[foxhopper]

Just a side effect of the bars reopening in Wisconsin.

[Futureshock]

See. He's not Stat Padford:


Matt Stafford admits viral math video was fake

Posted by Michael David Smith on May 14, 2020, 3:09 PM EDT

Getty Images

Lions quarterback Matt Stafford got plenty of attention last month for a viral video that purported to show he’s a math wizard. Today he admitted he is not.

Stafford told reporters today that the whole thing was a put-on between himself and former teammate T.J. Lang.

“I can’t believe you guys fell for the math trick,” Stafford said, via Michael Rothstein of ESPN.

Plenty of media outlets did fall for it. ESPN ran it under the headline, “Matthew Stafford is a math wizard.”

But he’s not. Stafford said Lang texted him before the two filmed the video and told him he was going to ask him to solve 9,758×618 in his head, and that Stafford should pretend to think for a second before giving the correct answer, 6,030,444.

Stafford sold it well. He’s better at acting than he is at math.

[Futureshock]

Matthew Stafford plans to stop licking his fingers

Posted by Darin Gantt on May 14, 2020, 2:21 PM EDT

Getty Images

We’re all forced to learn new habits because of the COVID-19 shutdowns, and Lions quarterback Matthew Stafford is no different.

Via Dave Birkett of the Detroit Free Press, Stafford said he’s making a conscious effort to not lick his fingers before he throws.

Considering he generally receives a football from beneath the sweaty rear end of another football player, one might think that was a practice he’d have adopted before coronavirus made us more aware of our hand hygiene.

But it’s a small reminder of how deeply things are going to change.

Stafford (shown here far less than six feet away from Drew Brees) said that while throwing in California with teammates during the break, he noticed guys clicking their clears together instead of high-fiving at the ends of sessions.

And postgame handshakes and hugs could become a thing of the past, as players might still be thinking about social distancing once games resume.

[Malto Marko]

Stafford's House officially went on the market.

https://www.freep.com/story/sports/nfl/lions/2020/05/15/detroit-lions-matthew-stafford-home/5197058002/

[edindetroit]

Blocked!

Yeah. I don't have tolerance for trolls anymore.

[BJK]

Stafford's House officially went on the market.

https://www.freep.com/story/sports/n...me/5197058002/

He bought the house back in 2013, well before he had a family of his own. Now he has three very young kids, with a fourth on the way. Priorities change. Strange as it sounds when talking about a house like his, this could be something as simple as him and his wife wanting to live in a more family friendly house / neighborhood, closer to friends.

[Forsh]

Figure he wants more bedrooms. That house looks great. I'm surprised it was built in 1980 ... but they've renovated I suppose

[BJK]

Figure he wants more bedrooms. That house looks great. I'm surprised it was built in 1980 ... but they've renovated I suppose

Kelly Stafford said that they’re selling the house because with their small kids, they’re uncomfortable with all the water surrounding the house. Understandable. They’re looking for another house in MI.

https://www.freep.com/story/sports/nfl/lions/2020/05/15/matthew-stafford-house-detroit-lions-kelly-stafford/5198062002/

[Futureshock]

That makes sense. I thought about that as I saw all the water.

[-Deborah-]

That pool!! 😍

[Marko69]

Couldn't do lengths in that pool though. It'd need to be curves.

Morning routine
100 press ups
100 pull ups
60 curves
breakfast.

[-Deborah-]

Couldn't do lengths in that pool though. It'd need to be curves.

Morning routine
100 press ups
100 pull ups
60 curves
breakfast.

🤣

[Whitley]

That pool!! 😍

largest infinity pool in Michigan

[Trickalicious]

I swear to effin' Hayzeus, every...EVERY...cheesetarded fuckwit has some sort of inferiority complex. What type of erectile dysfunction takes the time to post on some other NFL team's fan site in the first place? They always come with the most interestingly thoughtless drivel too. How tough is it to find an interesting take on WHY or HOW the Lions suck? There is so much material to use and yet, they can't even dry hump their way out of that wet paper bag. Before another one of you chubby-cheeked mommy issues decides to create an account, just consider the time you could have spent tweezing your two ball hairs to a State Farm bro-bang-a-thon. Better yet, beg your mouth breathing skid mark boss to give you more hours on the bull milking line, so you can save up for a fake "share" of nothing to frame and put on your wall next to your autographed pedo-stached Rodgers poster. "Good for the NFL"? Are you fucking serious? Even Dallas fans don't slurp Goodell to the sack with THAT much conviction. This three coiled steamer just gave me a reason to LIKE the Fords. Keep buying those midriff Clay Matthews mesh blouses so the rest of the NFL can continue to laugh at you poncy twats. Now please, take off your face mask, go back to licking doorknobs, and belly bump another c-cup moob bro for every time a ref gifts you another fake win.

[-Deborah-]