Non-Football Related Stuff That Makes you Laugh Your Ass off

[dpatnod]

LOL - if you guys enjoyed this video, make sure you hit this thumbs up video......

4 minutes I can't get back.

[dpatnod]

[ame="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S6ptZP6q42I"]Why Dogs Are Better Than Kids - YouTube[/ame]

[DanO]

Carolina Reaper Pepper............what a couple idiots.

[dpatnod]

Ha!

http://www.prideofdetroit.com/2016/10/3/13148984/fan-fiction-detroit-lions-humor-defeat-chicago-bears-undefeated-help-me-cope

Fan fiction: Solid game-planning and good communication propel Lions to 4-0 vs. Bears

These are getting hard to do.

by Jeremy Reisman @DetroitOnLion Oct 3, 2016, 2:45p

Matt Marton-USA TODAY Sports Note: After every Detroit Lions loss, we’re going to write a fictionalized version of what we wished would have happened. This is a way for us all to let go of the anger and release our frustrations in a positive way.

From the opening kickoff the Detroit Lions looked ready to take on the Chicago Bears. They definitely didn’t look underprepared with a subpar game plan. Nope.
Instead, it was the Bears who looked completely unprepared. Brian Hoyer wasn’t on the same page with his receivers for nearly the entire game. By the third quarter, Hoyer’s frustrations had boiled over to a point where he simply marched off the field. In the post-game press conference Hoyer announced he was enrolling back at Michigan State to help turn around the Spartans.*

It was shocking to see the Bears offense sputter so much considering the Lions lined up with just two defenders on every play. But pressure from Kerry Hyder and pristine coverage from Darius Slay was enough to give 11 Bears fits on seemingly every down. Head coach Jim Caldwell said of his bold strategy, “We noticed Tyrunn Walker and Devin Taylor had been sleeping during most of the games this season, so we figured why not let them do so on the comfy bench?”

Offensively, the Lions struggled to get much going on the ground to begin the game. Matthew Stafford tried to hand the ball off to Theo Riddick several times, but Riddick insisted that he toss the ball to him, because “it works better that way.” When Dwayne Washington went down with an injury, the Lions abandoned the run completely. After the game, Caldwell admitted, “Honestly, I completely forgot we had Zach Zenner on the team. That little guy is hard to find, sometimes.”



So it was up to Stafford and the passing game to carry the weight of the offense, and they did just that. Golden Tate took the very first bubble screen of the day, made three defenders miss in the backfield—[ame="https://twitter.com/mlyons85/status/782665969869217800"]while Eric Ebron just stood there[/ame]—and took it 85 yards for the score.

Though that would be the only points the Lions needed on that day, Tate was far from finished. Tate would end up finishing the day with 400 receiving yards to take over the team lead in yardage. After scoring his fifth touchdown of the afternoon, Tate held up a sign in the end zone that read: “I am very happy with my situation in Detroit. Despite what fans may be speculating based on little-to-no evidence, I am not disgruntled here. I don’t need to be a No. 1 receiver to be happy. Marvin and I are best friends.” It was a pretty big sign.

In an unprecedented move, Joique Bell demanded a release from the Chicago Bears at halftime, claiming that sharing a locker room with Jay Cutler had become “the greatest hardship I’ve ever experienced in my life. And I’ve worked as a security guard for the Lions. I don’t know if anyone has ever mentioned this on TV before. Also, did you know that the Red Wings acquired Kris Draper in a trade for $1?”



Caldwell immediately swiped up Bell in the third quarter, and the Wayne State product scored the final two touchdowns of the game. As he rejoined his Lions brethren in the locker room, he promised never to leave them again. The team then shared a 15-minute group hug that ended abruptly after a drunken Teryl Austin—who you may remember was fired in Week 1—stumbled into the locker room crying, “WHERE IS LEVY? I KNOW YOU GUYS ARE HIDING HIM SOMEWHERE!”

New defensive coordinator Matt Patricia quietly escorted Austin out of the building, gently reminding him that DeAndre Levy was a figment of his imagination and never truly existed.

We hope Austin gets the help that he deserves.

*His return would end up sparking the Spartans to a dominant three-game winning streak, before Jim Harbaugh and the Wolverines shut him out 99-0.

[SeattleLionsFan]

Omg. That video. What a schmuck.

[Malto Marko]

On my way into work this morning I was listening to 97.1 The Ticket. (a local sports talk show)

They were still laughing about something that happened last week. The subject that brought this up was there was a journalist that said the Lions have a better chance of winning the Superbowl this year than Donald Trump does getting elected.

Obama was getting press over the fact that NASA is focused on putting a man on Mars.

The question of the day was: What will happen first? Lions win a Superbowl or a man lands on Mars.

A listener texted in that not only will the Lions not win a Superbowl before a man lands on Mars but, the NFL will put an expansion team on Mars and they will win one before the Lions do.

[Marko69]

Lions fans hoping to make that potential Mars trip for the road/space game, still make sure that Tom Hanks is NOT your pilot.

[LionsFanInJapan]

That reminds me Tom Hanks was in the news here last month for taking a selfie in a Japanese restaurant with a bunch of drunk guys.

[Panoptes]

Is there ever a gathering of Japanese men when they are not drunk?

[LionsFanInJapan]

Maybe the old guys doing their croquet at 6:00am...

[Marko69]

Really liked Tom Hanks....... But seeing that he signs his name "Hanx", Woody is a Penis!

[Panoptes]

Maybe the old guys doing their croquet at 6:00am...

Maybe

Check their tea

[bimmer84]

Don't try this at home. . . (go to your local car wash).

[ame="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e4ssvDpCNhI"]Gasoline + Car Wash Vacuum = Drama - YouTube[/ame]

[Marko69]

Just laughed my ass off at 1972 Columbo. A Jag is in a ravine. His main guy tells him, "this is the quickest way down there, Sir"
Columbo proceeds to fall on his ass and rolls down the hill! His guy helps him up and says,
"You ok sir?"
Columbo: "I'm fine Lieutenant. And you were right. It is the quickest way down!"

[DanO]

Peter Falk, who played Colombo, had a glass eye. Because of that he had problems seeing where he was suppose to stand on the set. They would mark the spot on the floor and to further benefit him they built into his character the hand over the eyebrows while looking down. This allowed him to see where he was suppose to stand.