What chu talkin bout Willis? Strange stories....

[Delmas26]

A 150-pound goat broke into a Coachella, Calif., gentlemen?s club over the weekend, KESQ.com reported.

The Donkey did not show up, so the Goat had to fill in.

[Mainevent]

This chick should be charged with sexual assault.

http://awfulannouncing.blogspot.com/2010/01/creepy-reporter-enjoys-david-beckhams.html

"When it comes to David Beckham, women do some crazy things. I'm sure he's had multiple stalkers in his past, but that doesn't compare to this awkward encounter with an Italian reporter hell bent on grabbing his junk. Via Who Ate All The Pies?....

If your Italian is not so good, the story is as follows: Elena Di Cioccio, a reporter for Silvio Berlusconi’s Uno station (yes, Berlusconi also owns AC Milan, Beckham’s current home), wanted to see if Becks was really packing Dirk Diggler-heat downstairs, as all those pants ads suggest. So she pulled on a pair of rubber gloves, walked up to Beckham while he was being interviewed in Madrid for an American TV station, and grabbed his crotch."

[Newbomb Turk]

this is going to get ugly.... she said he was hung like a hamster and he is accusing her of having gigantic man hands.........

[Panoptes]

Dog drifts 75 miles on ice, rescued in Baltic Sea
*Thursday, Jan 28, 2010, By MONIKA SCISLOWSKA, Associated Press Writer

WARSAW, Poland ? A frightened, shivering dog was rescued after floating 75 miles (120 kilometers) on an ice floe down Poland's Vistula River and into the Baltic Sea, officials said Thursday.

Now his saviors just have to figure out who really owns him.

Four people have already claimed him, but so far rescuers say there's been no wagging tail of joy from the miracle dog they nicknamed "Baltic."

The dog's frozen odyssey came as Poland suffers through a winter cold snap, with temperatures dipping to below minus 4 degrees Fahrenheit (minus 20 Celsius).

The thick-furred male dog was found adrift Monday 15 miles (24 kilometers) out in the Baltic Sea by the crew of the Baltica, a Polish ship of ocean scientists carrying out research.

Researcher Natalia Drgas said Thursday the rescue was difficult and at one point it seemed the dog had drowned.

"It was really a tough struggle. It kept slipping into the water and crawling back on top of the ice. At one point it vanished underwater, under the ship and we thought it was the end, but it emerged again and crawled on an ice sheet," Drgas said.

At that point, the crew lowered a pontoon down to the water and a crew member managed to grab the dog by the scruff of his neck and pull him to safety.

Too weak to shake off the frigid water, Baltic was dried and wrapped in blankets. After he warmed up, he was massaged, fed and soon got on his feet to seek company, Drgas said.

A firefighter in Grudziadz, on the Vistula river 60 miles (100 kilometers) inland from the Bay of Gdansk, told The Associated Press the dog was spotted Saturday floating on ice through the city. Firefighters tried to save him but could not approach the dog due to shifting ice sheets, said the officer, who spoke on condition of anonymity.

The Baltica crew, now moored in the port city of Gdynia, have been searching for the dog's owners, ship captain Jerzy Wosachlo said. So far four people have claimed him, but Baltic has not claimed any of them back, Drgas said.

The dog didn't welcome the first two people to come for him, keeping his distance and showing no recognition toward a couple on Wednesday and a woman on Thursday who both said he was theirs. Two other would-be owners were still en route to Gdynia for a possible reunion.

Once in port, the brown-and-black mongrel was taken to a veterinarian, who found him in surprisingly good condition and estimated his age at around 5 or 6 years old. Veterinarian Aleksandra Lawniczak said the 44-pound (20-kilogram) dog was clearly frightened but in strikingly good shape and had suffered no frostbite.

A dog with thick fur and a layer of fat can survive such cold conditions for as long as eight days if it has water to drink, Lawniczak said.

She described Baltic as a friendly dog who was clearly well treated before getting lost.

Wosachlo said the research team is prepared to adopt Baltic if his original owner is never found.

[-Deborah-]

Poor guy! What a fight he gave!!

[Panoptes]

Cops: Pair allegedly use jury box to smuggle drugs

PUEBLO, Colo. ? It was a dumb way to try to sneak drugs into prison. Pueblo County authorities said a 22-year-old woman worked out a plan with her boyfriend to get narcotics into jail Wednesday through a courtroom exchange at her own sentencing hearing. Officials learned of the plot because the woman in jail, Felisha Trujillo, and her boyfriend talked about the plot on a monitored phone line.

Phil Martinez, 26, allegedly dropped a bag of narcotics in the jury box before Trujillo's hearing, when the courtroom was empty. The alleged drug drop happened minutes after elementary school students had finished a mock trial in the same courtroom.

Detectives were watching, and Martinez was arrested. Both Martinez and Trujillo face drug and contraband charges.

[Stone Hawk One]

The Tim Taylor Tool Time Award For Kinky Sex Gone Awry

h/t Big J in mail - the Tim Taylor Tool Time Award for kinky sex gone awry. Hint: any job that requires a dildo and a saber saw is probably best left to professionals. Fortunately, she's okay - as far as her injuries, anyway. I'm thinking this guy is no candidate for Angie's List.

Maryland State Police airlifted the 27-year-old woman to Prince George's County Hospital Center early Sunday morning after she was injured in an incident involving a sex toy attached to a saber saw blade, TheBayNet.com first reported.

The man who called 911 about the incident admitted attaching the sex toy to the saw and then using the high-powered, homemade device on his partner, according to the St. Mary's County Sheriff's Office.

The saw cut through the plastic toy and wounded the woman, according to TheBayNet.com. The injuries were severe enough for medevac, but the woman was released from the hospital Monday and is recovering from her unusual injuries.

Investigators talked to the woman, who told them she suffered the injuries during a consensual act and that she and her partner were trying something new and no crime was committed, the sheriff's office said.

[Newbomb Turk]

that's bullshit.....

it was probably a sawzall, no way a saber saw is going to be enough tool for that job......

[SeattleLionsFan]

Who the eff would keep the blade on that??

[Coop]

no kidding.

[Islair]

My God, what was he thinking?

[FVD]

Wouldn't a power drill have been a bit safer?

[DanO]

Different motion Frank.

"My God, what was he thinking?"
-----------------------He was thinking about pleasing his woman. What he didn't think about was the saw blade actually cutting through what he had wrapped around it. An oversight in judgment. She was obviously all for it. Neither one thought about the "possibilities". Why do you blame him? It was consensual. It's not like he tried to hurt her.

GO LIONS "10" !!!!!!!!!!

[Panoptes]

It was consensual. It's not like he tried to hurt her.

I'm not sure that can be deduced from the words shared in that story.

I'm not saying he was trying to hurt her but then again, WTF do I know about that guy other than a pretty telling thing about his private thoughts (in regards to building such a device).

[-Deborah-]

I'm not sure that can be deduced from the words shared in that story.

Think you missed this part:

Investigators talked to the woman, who told them she suffered the injuries during a consensual act and that she and her partner were trying something new and no crime was committed, the sheriff's office said.