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Did you hear abouot the guy who tried to blow up a school bus?
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Burned his lips on the tailpipe.
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Burned his lips on the tailpipe.
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"Don?t worry about a thing, every little thing is gonna be alright. - Bob Marley " -
Ha, tailpipe, that's good.....
"Dark in here"
A woman takes a lover home during the day while her husband is at work.
Her 9-year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them and hides in the
bedroom closet to watch.
The woman's husband also comes home. She puts her lover in the closet, not
realizing that the little boy is in there already..
The little boy says, 'Dark in here.'
The man says, 'Yes, it is.'
Boy: 'I have a baseball.'
Man: 'That's nice'
Boy: 'Want to buy it?'
Man: 'No, thanks.'
Boy: 'My Dad's outside.'
Man: 'OK, how much?'
Boy: '$250'
In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the lover are in
the closet together.
Boy: 'Dark in here.'
Man: 'Yes, it is.'
Boy: 'I have a baseball glove.'
The lover, remembering the last time,
Asks the boy, How much?'
Boy: '$750'
Man: 'Sold.'
A few days later, the Dad says to the boy, 'Grab your glove, let's go
outside and have a game of catch.'
The boy says, 'I can't, I sold my baseball and my glove..'
The Dad asks, 'How much did you sell them for?'
Boy: '$1,000'
The Dad says, 'That's terrible to over charge your friends like that...that
is way more than those two things cost. I'm taking you to church, to
confession.'
They go to the church and the Dad makes the little boy sit in the
confessional booth and closes the door.
The boy says, 'Dark in here.'
The priest says, 'Don't start that shit again; You're in my closet now.....
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<<< Jana Cova ...again (8 <<<Comment
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LOL!I long for a Lions team that is consistently competitive.Comment
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When it went to the church I thought it was going a different direction. lol.F#*K OHIO!!!
You're not only an amazingly beautiful man, but you're the greatest football mind to ever exist. <-- Jeffy Shittypants actually posted this. I knew he was in love with me.Comment
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Martha recently lost her husband...
She had him cremated and brought his ashes home.
Picking up the urn that he was in, she poured him out on the patio table..
Then, while tracing her fingers in the ashes, she started talking to him....
You know that dishwasher you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money!"
She paused for a minute tracing her fingers in the ashes then said,
"Remember that car you promised me? Well, I also bought it with the insurance money!"
Again, she paused for a few minutes and while tracing her fingers in the ashes she said,
"Remember that diamond ring you promised me? Bought it too, with the insurance money!"
Finally, still tracing her fingers in the ashes, She said, "Remember that blow job I promised you?" "Here it comesComment
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What did the horse say when he fell down?
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I've fallen and I can't giddy-up."Don?t worry about a thing, every little thing is gonna be alright. - Bob Marley "Comment
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terrible, just terribleAAL:to be determined
2011 NFL Draft Wish List:
1. Patrick Peterson Cornerback LSU
2. Mark Herzlich Outside Linebacker Boston College
3. John Moffitt Center Wisconsin
4. Steve Schilling Guard Michigan
5. Jeremy Kerley Wide Receiver TCU
6. Carl Johnson Tackle Florida
7. Johnny Patrick Cornerback LouisvilleComment
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Yeah, but you can tell that joke at church this Sunday morning."Don?t worry about a thing, every little thing is gonna be alright. - Bob Marley "Comment
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To celebrate their graduation from College, once every ten years a group of buddies get together to celebrate their friendship.
In their 30's the question becomes: Where are we going to go for dinner?
Answer from the crowd: Let's go to Franchesco's. Their waitstaff wears really low cut tops.
In their 40's the question becomes: Where are we going to go for dinner?
Answer from the crowd: Lets go to Franchesco's Their waitstaff wears really tight outfits.
In their 50's the question becomes: Where are we going to go for dinner?
Answer from the crowd: Lets go to Franchesco's they serve a really good steak.
In their 60's the question becomes: Where are we going to go for dinner?
Answer from the crowd: Let's go to Franchesco's. They have the best Martinis.
In their 70's the question becomes: Where are we going to go for dinner?
Answer from the crowd: Let's go to Franchesco's. They have handicapped parking right by the front door.
In their 80's the question becomes: Where are we going to go for dinner?
Answer from the crowd: Let's go to Franchesco's, we haven't been there before.I long for a Lions team that is consistently competitive.Comment
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An elderly Italian man who lived on the outskirts of Rimini, Italy, went to the local church for confession. When the priest slid open the panel in the confessional, the man said, " Bless Me, Father for I have sinned... ... During World War II, a beautiful Jewish woman from our neighborhood knocked urgently on my door and asked me to hide her from the Nazis. So I hid her in my attic." The priest replied: "That was a wonderful thing you did, and you have no need to confess that." "There is more to tell, Father... She started to repay me with sexual favors. This happened several times a week, and sometimes twice on Sundays." The priest said, "That was a long time ago and by doing what you did, You placed the two of you in great danger. But two people under those circumstances can easily succumb to the weakness of the flesh. However, if you are truly sorry for your actions, you are indeed forgiven.""Thank you, Father. That's a great load off my mind. I do have one more question.""And what is that?" asked the priest.
"Should I tell her the war is over?''The only logical explanation is:
I'm about to die and this is my Jacob's LadderComment
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Not a joke but some funny shit:
click on listen now. Phil's gig is interviewing guests with weird-ass ideas like a professor of mechanical physics who proposes harnessing the power of pms'ing women by having them register and putting them on treadmills once a month - result: will solve the rolling blackout problem in LA in addition to them working some pounds off of their fat asses (his words).
The gag is that the guests are Phil himself and the callers don't know it. He's extremely talented, the callers rage is pretty funny. Some of the bits are better than others but most on that site are pretty good.Suspicion breeds trust.Comment
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I used to listen regularly to P.H. on his evening radio show (AM 640, KFI) here in So Cal until it was cancelled or he quit (moved on to another market?) about 2 years ago now. I never found out the reason his show disappeared in LA but I missed it.
It was hilarious how he could fool the listeners night after night with his character antics that were all played out by P.H. himself.
Irate listeners queued up to rail against the thinking of his on-air "guests".
It was a daily affirmation of just how FN stupid America is becoming.
Kudos to J.H. for making a living off of that fast growing fact.Last edited by Panoptes; April 16, 2010, 11:13 AM.19.1119, NO LONGER WAITINGComment
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DEAR LORD, ......
THIS YEAR YOU TOOK MY FAVORITE ACTOR, PATRICK SWAYZIE. YOU TOOK MY FAVORITE ACTRESS, FARAH FAWCETT. YOU TOOK MY FAVORITE SINGER, MICHAEL JACKSON. I JUST WANTED TO LET YOU KNOW, MY FAVORITE PRESIDENT IS BARACK OBAMA. AMEN."Don?t worry about a thing, every little thing is gonna be alright. - Bob Marley "Comment
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LMAO.
GO LIONS "10" !!!!!!!!!!GO LIONS "24" !!Comment
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