Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Joke Thread

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Three handsome male dogs are walking down the street when they see a beautiful, enticing, female Poodle.

    The three male dogs fall all over themselves in an effort to be the one to reach her first, but end up arriving in front of her at the same time.

    The males are speechless before her beauty, slobbering on themselves and hoping for just a glance from her in return.

    Aware of her charms and her obvious effect on the three suitors, she decides to be kind and tells them, "The first one who can use the words 'liver' and 'cheese' together in an imaginative, intelligent sentence can go out with me."

    The sturdy, muscular black Lab speaks up quickly and says, "I love liver and cheese."

    "Oh, how childish," said the Poodle. "That shows no imagination or intelligence whatsoever."

    She turns to the tall, shiny Golden Retriever and says "How well can you do?"

    "Um. I HATE liver and cheese," blurts the Golden Retriever.

    "My, my," said the Poodle. "I guess it's hopeless. That's just as dumb as the Lab's sentence."

    She then turns to the last of the three dogs and says, "How about you, little guy?"

    The last of the three, tiny in stature but big in fame and finesse, is the Taco Bell Chihuahua.

    He gives her a smile, a sly wink, turns to the Golden Retriever and the Lab and says....

    Liver alone. Cheese mine.
    "Don?t worry about a thing, every little thing is gonna be alright. - Bob Marley "

    Comment


    • I took my dad to the mall the other day to buy some new shoes (he is 92). We decided to grab a bite at the food court. I noticed he was watching a teenager sitting next to him. The teenager had spiked hair in all different colors: green, red, orange, and blue. My dad kept staring at him. The teenager would look and find him staring every time. When the teenager had had enough, he sarcastically asked , 'What's the matter old man, never done anything wild in your life?' Dad Replied with out missing a beat 'Got drunk once, and had sex with a peacock. I was just wondering if you were my son.'
      Dopeler Effect: The Tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly. - Author unknown

      Comment


      • As long as we are on the topic of dogs.


        http://www.funnyplace.org/stream-weekly.php?id=10523

        Comment


        • As we age, we tend to end up seeing more of the medical
          establishment.

          For example, my internist referred me to a female
          urologist. I saw her yesterday and she is gorgeous. She's beautiful and
          unbelievably sexy.

          She told me that I have to stop masturbating.

          I asked her why and she said, "Because I'm trying
          to examine you..."
          I long for a Lions team that is consistently competitive.

          Comment


          • LOL! I will have to use that one.
            Apathetic No More.

            Comment


            • What do you call an attorney with an IQ of 50
              .
              .
              ..
              .
              ..
              .
              .
              ..
              .
              .
              .
              ..
              .
              .
              .
              .
              .
              JUDGE.

              GO LIONS "09' !!!!!!!!!
              GO LIONS "24" !!

              Comment


              • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=35JQxTe3yLA&NR=1

                Comment


                • Comment


                  • A bear doing a little pole dancing. Yeah, that's the spot

                    Comment


                    • dont ya dare touch my car!!!Ad by Fiat Palio.

                      Comment


                      • A verry funny commercial.Enjoy , Rate and comment and subscribe please :)

                        Comment


                        • 3-Black Ladies

                          There were three black ladies getting ready to take a plane trip for the
                          first time.

                          The first lady said, "I don't know bout y'al but I'm gunna wear me sum hot
                          pink panties beefo I gets on dat plane."

                          "Why you gonna wear dem fo?", the other two asked.

                          The first replied, "Cause, if dat plane goes down and I'm out dare laying
                          butt-up in a conefield, dey gonnafind me first."

                          The second lady said, "Well, I'm a-gonna wear me some floe esant orange
                          panties."

                          "Why you gonna wear dem?" the others asked.

                          The second lady answered, "Cause if dis hare plane is goin' down and I be
                          floating butt-up in the oshun, dey can see me first."

                          The third old lady says, "Well, I'm not gonna wear any panties" . . . "What?
                          No panties?" the others asked in disbelief.

                          The third lady says, "Dat's right girlfriends, you hears me right. I ain't
                          wearin' anypanties, cause if dis plane goes down, honey, dey always look fo
                          da black box, fust thang !"

                          Comment


                          • Capitals

                            A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals. She proudly says "Go ahead ask me, .... I know them all."

                            A friend says, ok, what's the capital of Wisconsin?"

                            The blonde replies, OH that easy ... it's W!!!

                            Comment


                            • Compact Blondes

                              two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on the sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the mirror and says, hmmm this person looks familiar.

                              the second blonde says here let me see, she then looks in the mirror and says, You dummy, it's me!

                              Comment


                              • Barking Boy?

                                A little boy was talking to his mommy!

                                Little Boy: "Mommy! How come your'e white and I'm black?"

                                Mommy: "Don't even go there! From what I can remember about that fuckin party, you should be gratefull you don't bark!"

                                Comment

                                Working...
                                X