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If you can't enjoy your coffee with a chocolate donut, is life really worth living?
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2015 AAL - Ezekiel "Double Digit Sacks" Ansah. -
You are spot on. Just U-turned, went back and got another one. Two chocolate donuts before 7:25am. Awesome.Originally posted by LionsFanInJapan View Post"...when Hibernian won the Scottish Cup final and that celebration, Sunshine on Leith? I don’t think there’s a better football celebration ever in the game.”
Sir Alex FergusonComment
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Is Sacha going to kill me?2015 AAL - Ezekiel "Double Digit Sacks" Ansah.Comment
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Speaking of Sacha........, Got the wife a nice pair of carpet slippers and a vibrator for Christmas. If she doesn't like the slippers, she can go fuck herself."...when Hibernian won the Scottish Cup final and that celebration, Sunshine on Leith? I don’t think there’s a better football celebration ever in the game.”
Sir Alex FergusonComment
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Ha!I feel like I am watching the destruction of our democracy while my neighbors and friends cheer it onComment
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2015 AAL - Ezekiel "Double Digit Sacks" Ansah.Comment
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When Forest Gump died, he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter said, "Welcome, Forest. We've heard a lot about you." He continued, "Unfortunately, it's getting pretty crowded up here and we find that we now have to give people an entrance examination before we let them in."
"Okay," said Forest. "I hope it's not too hard. I've already been through a test. My momma used to say, 'Life is like a final exam. It's hard.' "
"Yes, Forest, I know. But this test is only three questions. Here they are."
1) Which two days of the week begin with the letter 'T'?"
2) How many seconds are in a year?
3) What is God's first name?
"Well, sir," said Forest, "The first one is easy. Which two days of the week begin with the letter 'T'? Today and Tomorrow."
St. Peter looked surprised and said, "Well, that wasn't the answer I was looking for, but you have a point. I give you credit for that answer."
"The next question," said Forest, "How many seconds are in a year? Twelve."
"Twelve?" said St. Peter, surprised and confused.
"Yes, sir. January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd …"
St. Peter interrupted him. "I see what you mean. I'll have to give you credit for that one, too."
"And the last question," said Forest, "What is God's first name? It's Andy."
"Andy?" said St. Peter, in shock. "How did you come up with 'Andy'?"
"I learned it in church. We used to sing about it." Forest broke into song, "Andy walks with me, Andy talks with me, Andy tells me I am His own."
St. Peter opened the gate to heaven and said, "Run, Forest, Run!I long for a Lions team that is consistently competitive.Comment
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Very good.
Similar joke, (summarised)
Greggs bakery annual meeting.
Chairman: Our pies, according to government guidelines, are too heavy. They need to be lighter. Any ideas on how we can accurately attain the exact weight of our pies? Anyone?
Bakery worker: Over a rainbow, sir?
Chairman: Over a rainbow? What the hell are you talking about? How are we going to........
Bakery Worker (breaks into song) "Somewhere, over a rainbow........., weigh a pie.""...when Hibernian won the Scottish Cup final and that celebration, Sunshine on Leith? I don’t think there’s a better football celebration ever in the game.”
Sir Alex FergusonComment
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So this guy with a premature ejaculation problem comes out of nowhere...Monkeys don't sell bananas.Comment
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A couple, both age 78, went to a sex therapist's office. The doctor asked, "What can I do for you?"
The man said, "Will you watch us have sex?"
The doctor looked puzzled, but agreed.
When the couple finished, the doctor said, "There's nothing wrong with the way you have sex," and charged them $50.
This happened several weeks in a row. The couple would make an appointment, have sex with no problems, pay the doctor, then leave.
Finally, the doctor asked, "Just exactly what are you trying to find out?"
"We're not trying to find out anything," the husband replied.
"She's married and we can't go to her house. I'm married and we can't go to my house. The Holiday Inn charges $90. The Hilton charges $108. We do it here for $50...and I get $43 back from Medicare.I long for a Lions team that is consistently competitive.Comment
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A couple, both age 78 went to a therapist's office because both were frequently forgetting things to the point that they were becoming very frustrated with each other. The doctor prescribed the usual medicines and explained that sometimes the medicines can only do so much.
He told them that things could be much better if they kindly reminded each other of things form time to time.
One evening at home while the couple were watching TV, the man got up and declared that he was going to get himself a bowl of ice cream and offered to make his wife a bowl if she liked.
"Absolutely", she replied, but I want mine with strawberry syrup.
"Okay", said the man and headed for the kitchen.
"Don't forget my strawberry syrup!", she reminded her aging husband.
"I won't, I won't", ensured the man, disappearing from the living room.
10 minutes later he arrived back into the living room and presented his wife with a plate of scrambled eggs, bacon and hash browns.
The wife looked at the plate with disappointment and looked at her husband in disgust, and yelled, "You forgot my toast you asshole!"------------
<<< Jana Cova ...again (8 <<<Comment
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LOL!I long for a Lions team that is consistently competitive.Comment
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Fontes for Motivation
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Nice!
Welcome 72PS.I long for a Lions team that is consistently competitive.Comment
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Actually, no one wants your rack Wayne, lolComment
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