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DanO......, I just sent "Sometimes I squat on the floor and put my arms around my knees and lean forward" to my son......., he replied, "What??"......., then I said, "Coz that's how I roll"
his instant reply was...., "omg"
then a minute later he replied, "Lmao!"
The funniness eventually got him.
"...when Hibernian won the Scottish Cup final and that celebration, Sunshine on Leith? I don’t think there’s a better football celebration ever in the game.”
An old man is sitting on his front porch down in Louisiana watching the sun rise when he sees the neighbour's kid walk by carrying something big under his arm.
"Hey boy, whatcha got there?" he shouts.
"A roll of chicken wire," the boy yells back.
"What you gonna do with that?" the old man asks.
"Catch me some chickens," says the boy.
"You damned fool," says the old man. "You can't catch chickens with chicken wire!"
The boy just laughs and keeps walking.
That evening the boy comes walking by and to the old man's surprise he's dragging the chicken wire behind him with about 30 chickens caught in it.
The same time next morning the old man is out watching the sun rise when he sees the boy walk by carrying something else.
"Hey boy, whatcha got there?" he shouts.
"Roll of duck tape," the boy yells back.
"What you gonna do with that?" the old man asks.
"Catch me some ducks," says the boy.
"You damned fool," says the old man. "You can't catch ducks with duck tape!"
The boy just laughs and keeps walking.
That evening the boy comes walking by and to the old man's surprise he's trailing the unrolled duck tape behind him with about 35 ducks caught in it.
The same time next morning the old man sees the boy walk by carrying what looks like a long reed with something fuzzy on the end.
"Hey boy, whatcha got there?" he shouts.
"A pussy willow," the boy yells back.
"Hold on," says the old man, "I'll get my hat."
I feel like I am watching the destruction of our democracy while my neighbors and friends cheer it on
Ha! First time I heard that joke a guy told it in a Cajun accent and it was Boudreaux paddling up to his dock in his pirogue and inviting his buddy Jacques to come with him.
It is a really good joke when it is told by a good joke teller.
I feel like I am watching the destruction of our democracy while my neighbors and friends cheer it on
* I was devastated to find out my wife was having an affair; but, by turning to religion, I was soon able to come to terms with the whole thing. I converted to Islam, and we're stoning her in the morning!
* The wife suggested I get myself one of those penis enlargers, so I did. She's 25, and her name's Betty.
* Went to our local bar with my girlfriend last night. Locals were shouting "pedophile!" and other names at me, just because my girlfriend is 24 and I'm 50. It completely spoiled our 10th anniversary.
* My son was thrown out of school today for letting a girl in his class give him a hand-job. I said "Son, that's three schools this year! You'd better stop before you're banned from teaching altogether."
* The cost of living has now gotten so bad that my wife is having sex with me because she can't afford batteries.
* A man calls 911 and says "I think my wife is dead". The operator says, "How do you know?" The man says, "The sex is about the same, but the ironing is piling up!"
* I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get reincarnated, but must come back as a different creature. She said she would like to come back as a cow. I said, "You obviously haven't been listening."
* My wife has been missing a week now. The police said to prepare for the worst. So, I had to go down to Goodwill to get all of her clothes back.
This is the best example for paying attention that I have ever heard.
First-year students at the Purdue Vet School were attending their first anatomy class with a real dead cow. They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with a white sheet.
The professor started the class by telling them, "In Veterinary medicine it is necessary to have two important qualities as a doctor. The first is that you not be disgusted by anything involving the animal's body." For an example, the professor pulled back the sheet, stuck his finger in the butt of the cow, withdrew it, and stuck his finger in his mouth.
"Go ahead and do the same thing," he told his students. The students freaked out, hesitated for several minutes, but eventually took turns sticking a finger in the butt of the dead cow and sucking on it.
When everyone finished, the Professor looked at them and said, "The second most important quality is observation. I stuck in my middle finger and sucked on my index finger. Now learn to pay attention. Life's tough but it's even tougher if you're stupid."
Benny Blades~"If you break down this team man for man, we have talent to compare with any team."
This is the best example for paying attention that I have ever heard.
First-year students at the Purdue Vet School were attending their first anatomy class with a real dead cow. They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with a white sheet.
The professor started the class by telling them, "In Veterinary medicine it is necessary to have two important qualities as a doctor. The first is that you not be disgusted by anything involving the animal's body." For an example, the professor pulled back the sheet, stuck his finger in the butt of the cow, withdrew it, and stuck his finger in his mouth.
"Go ahead and do the same thing," he told his students. The students freaked out, hesitated for several minutes, but eventually took turns sticking a finger in the butt of the dead cow and sucking on it.
When everyone finished, the Professor looked at them and said, "The second most important quality is observation. I stuck in my middle finger and sucked on my index finger. Now learn to pay attention. Life's tough but it's even tougher if you're stupid."
Tony I had a friend who when in Medical school said they did the same thing. Only it was with urine. The come one was ,,,"there is a quick test for diabetes. Taste the urine and see if it is sugary." "He claims hd didn't get sucked in.
I was hoping to talk to you about insurance. I can't get any travel insurance and thought you might have a tip or two, Was wondering if you could give me a time that would be convenient for me to phone you.? I've misplaced your number can you pm me?
Thanks
Sorry Mr. C. I never saw your request below until now.
I'll be honest that I know next to nothing about travel insurance outside of buying it once for a personal trip about 15 years ago (and the mandatory auto insurance purchase to venture into Meh-he-go). I'm pretty sure any sort of travel insurance can be bought on-line here in the states. Don't know about Ca though. But I will gladly accept your call if you decide to so, just for the honor of getting to speak to you.
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