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Subtle and understated humour Marko. Tony just didn't get it.
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Apathetic No More. -
I got it just fine. "Humor" based on a soccer reference can not be funny on this side of the pond.Benny Blades~"If you break down this team man for man, we have talent to compare with any team."Comment
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Oh Yeah?!
Q: What is the difference between Bill Clinton and Man Utd striker Wayne Rooney?
A: Clinton can score.
Q: Why do midgets always laugh when playing soccer?
A: The grass tickles their balls!
Q: Which football team uses the most toilet paper?
A: Arsenal.
Q: Why did Cinderella get kicked off the Football team?
A: Because she Kept running away from the ball.
Q: How many Manchester City soccer fans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None - they're quite happy living in the shadows.
Q: What do you call a QPR fan with an IQ of 10?
A: Supremely gifted!
Q: Why are soccer players excellent at math?
A: They know how to use their heads.
Q: How do you change a Charlton fans mind?
A: Blow in his ear!
Q. Why doesn't Pakistan have an international football team?
A. Because each time they get a corner, they open a shop.
Q: Why is a bad futbol team like an old bra?
A: No cups and little support.
Q: How do athletes stay cool during a game?
A: They stand near the fans!
Q: Why don't you not play soccer in the jungle?
A: There are too many cheetahs!
Q: What's the difference between a Liverpool fan and a broken clock?
A: Even a broken clock is right twice a day!
Q. Why did the soccer player bring string to the game?
A: So she could tie the score
Q: Why did the soccer ball quit the team?
A: He was tired of being kicked around.Apathetic No More.Comment
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Why not just replace soccer with baseball and then it'd be funny for you, Tony.2015 AAL - Ezekiel "Double Digit Sacks" Ansah.Comment
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or replace soccer with LionsComment
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One of Dsreds jokes:
Q: What do you call a QPR fan with an IQ of 10?
A: Supremely gifted!
Permission to change "QPR" with "Jambofuckwit" please?"...when Hibernian won the Scottish Cup final and that celebration, Sunshine on Leith? I don’t think there’s a better football celebration ever in the game.”
Sir Alex FergusonComment
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Needed a little something to lighten my spirits. Went to a joke site and got a chuckle out of this one..........
Bob Hill and his new wife Betty were vacationing in Europe, as it happens, near Transylvania. They were driving in a rental car along a rather deserted highway. It was late, and raining very hard. Bob could barely see 20 feet in front of the car.
Suddenly the car skids out of control! Bob attempts to control the car, but to no avail! The car swerves and smashes into a tree. Moments later, Bob shakes his head to clear the fog. Dazed, he looks over at the passenger seat and sees his wife unconscious, with her head bleeding! Despite the rain and unfamiliar countryside, Bob knows he has to carry her to the nearest phone.
Bob carefully picks his wife up and begins trudging down the road. After a short while, he sees a light. He heads towards the light, which is coming from an old, large house. He approaches the door and knocks. A minute passes. A small, hunched man opens the door. Bob immediately blurts, "Hello, my name is Bob Hill, and this is my wife Betty. We've been in a terrible accident, and my wife has been seriously hurt. Can I please use your phone?"
"I'm sorry," replied the hunchback, "but we don't have a phone. My master is a doctor; come in and I will get him!"
Bob brings his wife in. An elegant man comes down the stairs. "I'm afraid my assistant may have misled you. I am not a medical doctor; I am a scientist. However, it is many miles to the nearest clinic, and I have had a basic medical training. I will see what I can do. Igor, bring them down to the laboratory."
With that, Igor picks up Betty and carries her downstairs, with Bob following closely. Igor places Betty on a table in the lab. Bob collapses from exhaustion and his own injuries, so Igor places Bob on an adjoining table. After a brief examination, Igor's master looks worried.
"Things are serious, Igor. Prepare a transfusion." Igor and his master work feverishly, but to no avail. Bob and Betty Hill are no more.
The Hills' deaths upset Igor's master greatly. Wearily, he climbs the steps to his conservatory, which houses his grand piano. For it is here that he has always found solace. He begins to play, and a stirring, almost haunting, melody fills the house.
Meanwhile, Igor is still in the lab tidying up. His eyes catch movement, and he notices the fingers on Betty's hand twitch, keeping time to the haunting piano music. Stunned, he watches as Bob's arm begins to rise, marking the beat! He is further amazed as Betty sits straight up! Unable to contain himself, he dashes up the stairs to the conservatory. He bursts in and shouts to his master: "Master, Master! The Hills are alive with the sound of music!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I long for a Lions team that is consistently competitive.Comment
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Oh dear God, MM......., that must've been one absolute pish joke website."...when Hibernian won the Scottish Cup final and that celebration, Sunshine on Leith? I don’t think there’s a better football celebration ever in the game.”
Sir Alex FergusonComment
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The payoff's just not good enough after all that.Apathetic No More.Comment
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[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DT4ikdAS-P0"]Bear Does Laundry : Samsung Washing Machine Commercial - Adpressive - YouTube[/ame]Apathetic No More.Comment
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LOL. That's good. I have a Samsung front loader.GO LIONS "24" !!Comment
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A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A young student nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath. "Nurse,"' he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?" Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet." He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, please check for me. Are my testicles black?" Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and pulls back the covers. She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles gently in the other. She looks very closely and says, "There's nothing wrong with them, Sir. They look fine." The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says very slowly, "Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen very, very closely: Are - my - test - results - back?""Don?t worry about a thing, every little thing is gonna be alright. - Bob Marley "Comment
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