Joke Thread

[CGVT]

A 10-year old Irish boy stands crying at the side of the road. A man passing by asks 'What's wrong, lad?' The boy says 'Me mam died this mornin'.' 'Oh jaysus,' The man says. 'Do you want me to call Father O'Riley for you?'

The boy replies, 'No tanks mister, sex is the last ting on my mind at the moment.

[Sharkbait]

Ouch!

[dsred]

That's what the boy said.

[DanO]

"An English gentleman sitting nearby spoke up, 'Sir, you Americans often seem to have a penchant for doing the wrong thing. You hold the fork in the wrong hand. You drive your cars on the wrong side of the road. And now, sir, you seem to have thrown the wrong bitch out the window.'"
---------------------------------LOL.

"He replied, 'I always thought I was, but I just found out I'm a lesbian.'"
-------------------------LOL as well.

[Marko69]

Just got my water bill of ?475. That's a lot. Apparently Oxfam can supply an entire African village for just ?2 a month: time to change supplier I think.

[bimmer84]

Just got my water bill of ?475. That's a lot. Apparently Oxfam can supply an entire African village for just ?2 a month: time to change supplier I think.

Do they add fudge donuts to the water? That is a lot.

[Marko69]

Paddy is doing some roofing work for Murphy. He nears the top of the ladder and starts shaking and going dizzy.
He calls down to Murphy and says "I tink I will ave to go home, I've just got all giddy and feel sick."
Murphy asks "Ave yer got vertigo?"
Paddy replies "No ya fickin arsehole, Ye know I only live round the corner !"

[Cody_Russell]

lol, Millen... http://www.scout.com/2/418840.html

[Tony G]

THAT'S NOT A HAHA JOKE

[Cody_Russell]

The Lions are hoping that over the next five years Millen is the man to pilot the franchise to a destination they've never seen - a 0-16 season.

FIFY Mike Fowler

[Pick6]

the lions

[Cody_Russell]

I think it's funny how the writer lists the nucleus for the Lions and they are all busts (with Raiola and Shaun Rogers).

[Marko69]

Was told this today and I've got to say, I laughed my ass off......, but it's a soccer joke, so you guys might just laugh your asses off anyway without even getting the joke! Pretty sure Dean will appreciate it.

It's regarding English soccer player DJ Campbell and rumours of match fixing:

DJ Campbell has strongly denied the rumours of match fixing and is desperate to play in this weekends 1-1 draw with Millwall.

LMAO! Fk sake, I laughed again as I typed it.

[Tony G]

<crickets>

[CGVT]

Really?

I laughed at it.