Joke Thread

[Dr. Emmett.L.Brown]

A married couple was in a terrible accident where the woman's face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn't graft any skin from her body because she was too skinny. So the husband offered to donate some of his own skin.

However, the only skin on his body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from his ass. The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and requested that the doctor also honor their secret. After all, this was a very delicate matter.

After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the woman's new beauty. She looked more beautiful than she ever had before! All her friends and relatives just went on and on about her youthful beauty! One day, she was alone with her husband, and she was overcome with emotion at his sacrifice. She said, "Dear, I just want to thank you for everything you did for me. There is no way I could ever repay you."

"My darling," he replied, "think nothing of it. I get all the thanks I need every time I see your mother kiss you on the cheek."

[Dr. Emmett.L.Brown]

A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband, "When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?"
The husband replied, "All I wanted to do was to fuck your brains out, and suck your tits dry."
Then, as the wife undressed, she asked, "What are you thinking now?"
He replied, "It looks as if I did a pretty good job."

[Malto Marko]

LOL, Doc.

ULF, any chance of a Laker sighting soon?

[-Deborah-]

So the other day I wore my MillenClown t-shirt from the (2006?) Forum Game, because I needed an old shirt to wear while working on my tractor.

My 3 yr old asks me, "Daddy, is that a funny clown? Will he give me candy?"
I said "no, this is an rotten clown. He only takes things from us."

"What will he take from us?"

"A decade of enjoyment watching football."

Nice to see you, Dave. Hope you and the family are doing well.

lol @ the rotten clown.

[-Deborah-]

So I don't believe any of those autocorrects are legit - but I'm still laughing so hard I'm crying. Its the reactions that slay me.

Yeah, I doubt "shaved pork" auto corrects to "shaved pu$$y" but damn that's funny. lol

[Tony G]

The deal w/ the autocorrect (or more appropriately named autofill) is if you've used the word before it's more likely to get suggested. Which word do you think a teenager or young man would text more? Pork or the other option? Then you're a fat-finger away from disaster. That said, i have doubts on some of those too. But just think of the sheer numbers of text users out there.

[SeattleLionsFan]

I will say autocorrect does some crazy shit.

[Tony G]

WTF???



[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L4ttVP2cyK4"]‪ME Pearl Presents PROPER OPOSSUM MASSAGE‬‏ - YouTube[/ame]

[edindetroit]

I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it.
So I said "Implants?" She hit me.

[YT]

I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it.
So I said "Implants?" She hit me.

LOL

You should have said, "Double DD's?"

[CGVT]

[Malto Marko]

LOL!

[Islair]

Oh that is good.

[Dr. Emmett.L.Brown]

Thanks CGVT...you got me hooked on failbook now:-D

[CGVT]

That is great!