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  • EMPLOYEE NOTICE

    **********************
    Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown in the economy, Congress has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 50 years of age and above on early, mandatory retirement, thus creating
    jobs and reducing unemployment.

    This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).

    Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to Congress to be considered for the SHAFT program (Special Help After Forced Termination).

    Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW program (System
    Covering Retired-Early Workers).

    A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as Congress deems appropriate.

    Persons who have been RAPED could get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependents & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance).

    Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by Congress.

    Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive as much SHIT (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. Congress has always prided themselves on the amount of SHIT they give our citizens.

    Should you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT, please bring this to the attention of your Congressman, who has been trained to give you all the SHIT you can handle.

    Sincerely,

    The
    Committee for Economic Value of Individual Lives (E.V.I.L.)

    PS - Due to recent budget cuts and the rising cost of electricity, gas and oil, as well as current market conditions, the Light at the End of the Tunnel has been turned off.
    I long for a Lions team that is consistently competitive.

    Comment


    • Yep!!!

      GO LIONS "11" !
      GO LIONS "24" !!

      Comment


      • Laughter complete with tears @ Employee Notice. Absolute superb!
        "...when Hibernian won the Scottish Cup final and that celebration, Sunshine on Leith? I don’t think there’s a better football celebration ever in the game.”

        Sir Alex Ferguson

        Comment


        • That was great!
          2015 AAL - Ezekiel "Double Digit Sacks" Ansah.

          Comment


          • Benny Blades~"If you break down this team man for man, we have talent to compare with any team."

            Comment


            • LOL.

              GO LIONS "11" !
              GO LIONS "24" !!

              Comment


              • Today's Dilbert cracks me up:

                "And I'm a million different people from one day to the next..."

                Comment


                • Ha!
                  I feel like I am watching the destruction of our democracy while my neighbors and friends cheer it on

                  Comment


                  • Originally posted by Tony G View Post
                    Thats hilarious
                    F#*K OHIO!!!

                    You're not only an amazingly beautiful man, but you're the greatest football mind to ever exist. <-- Jeffy Shittypants actually posted this. I knew he was in love with me.

                    Comment


                    • It would appear that Chris is now in the "seat over there".

                      Comment


                      • http://www.people.com/people/article...507102,00.html
                        Benny Blades~"If you break down this team man for man, we have talent to compare with any team."

                        Comment


                        • I couldn't find the thing that peels the potatoes and carrots, so I asked the kids if they'd seen it. Apparrently she left me yesterday!
                          "...when Hibernian won the Scottish Cup final and that celebration, Sunshine on Leith? I don’t think there’s a better football celebration ever in the game.”

                          Sir Alex Ferguson

                          Comment


                          • Ha.

                            GO LIONS "11" !
                            GO LIONS "24" !!

                            Comment


                            • Wow
                              AAL:to be determined




                              2011 NFL Draft Wish List:

                              1. Patrick Peterson Cornerback LSU
                              2. Mark Herzlich Outside Linebacker Boston College
                              3. John Moffitt Center Wisconsin
                              4. Steve Schilling Guard Michigan
                              5. Jeremy Kerley Wide Receiver TCU
                              6. Carl Johnson Tackle Florida
                              7. Johnny Patrick Cornerback Louisville

                              Comment


                              • nice!!
                                F#*K OHIO!!!

                                You're not only an amazingly beautiful man, but you're the greatest football mind to ever exist. <-- Jeffy Shittypants actually posted this. I knew he was in love with me.

                                Comment

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