If this is your first visit, be sure to
check out the FAQ by clicking the
link above. You may have to register
before you can post: click the register link above to proceed. To start viewing messages,
select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below.
If you are having difficulty logging in, please REFRESH the page and clear your browser cache and try again.
If you still can't get logged in, please try using Microsoft Edge, Google Chrome, Firefox, Opera, or Safari to login. Also be sure you are using the latest version of your browser. Internet Explorer has not been updated in over seven years and will no longer work with the Forum software. Thanks
A retired man went into the Job Center in Downtown Denver, and saw a card
advertising for a Gynecologist's Assistant. Interested, he went in and asked the clerk for details.
The clerk pulled up the file and read; "The job entails getting the ladies ready for the gynecologist. You have to help the women out of their underwear, lay them down and carefully wash their private regions, then apply shaving foam and gently shave off the hair, then rub in soothing oils so they're ready for the gynecologist's examination."
"The annual salary is $65,000, and you'll have to go to Billings, MT, that's about 550 miles from here."
"Good grief, is that where the job is?"
"No sir -- that's where the end of the line is right now.
1. Patrick Peterson Cornerback LSU
2. Mark Herzlich Outside Linebacker Boston College
3. John Moffitt Center Wisconsin
4. Steve Schilling Guard Michigan
5. Jeremy Kerley Wide Receiver TCU
6. Carl Johnson Tackle Florida
7. Johnny Patrick Cornerback Louisville
A pastor's wife was expecting a baby, so he stood before the
congregation and asked for a raise. After much discussion, they passed a rule that whenever the pastor's family expanded, so would his paycheck.
After 6 children, this started to get expensive and the congregation
decided to hold another meeting to discuss the pastor's expanding
salary.
A great deal of yelling and inner bickering ensued, as to how much the
pastor's additional children were costing the church, and how much more it could potentially cost.
After listening to them for about an hour, the pastor rose from his
chair and spoke, "Children are a gift from God, and we will take as many gifts as He gives us."
Half of the congregation said, "Amen."
In the back pew, a little old lady
struggled to stand, and finally said in her frail voice,
"Rain is also a gift from God, but when we get too much of it, we wear
rubbers."
The entire congregation said, "Amen."
The only logical explanation is:
I'm about to die and this is my Jacob's Ladder
Once I gave my Ex-Wife a grave plot for her birthday. The next year I didn't give her anything and when she bitched, I told her, "You havn't even used last years gift yet!"
"Don?t worry about a thing, every little thing is gonna be alright. - Bob Marley "
Tweet
Comment