Joke Thread

[*JD*]

Comedic short film, anyone?

[ame="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B5dmRZttCD4&t=27s"]It's Just.... - YouTube[/ame]

[entropy]

Q: What do cheap hotels and designer jeans have in common?

A: No ballroom.

[entropy]

A farmer wrote a letter to his son in jail for robbing a bank: “This year, I can’t plant potatoes because you are not here to plow the field." The son wrote back, “Papa, don’t dare plow the field. That is where I hid the money I stole.” The police intercepted the letter and by the next day they'd dug up the entire field but found nothing. The son wrote to his father, “Now you can plant your potatoes."

[entropy]

A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on." The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now." The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me!" His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family."

[Malto Marko]

I have heard this before, and might have posted it. But, I still laugh and will at least get a groan.

A mother-in-law stopped by unexpectedly the recently married couple's house. She knocks on the door, then immediately walks in. She is shocked to see her daughter-in-law lying on the couch, totally naked.
"What are you doing?" she asked.
"I'm waiting for Jeff to come home from work," the daughter-in-law answered.
"But you're naked!" the mother-in-law exclaimed.
"This is my love dress," the daughter-in-law explained.
"Love dress? But you're naked!"
"Jeff loves me to wear this dress! It makes him happy and it makes me happy."
The mother-in-law on the way home thought about the love dress. When she got home she got undressed, showered, put on her best perfume and expectantly waited for her husband, lying provocatively on the couch.
Finally her husband came home. He walked in and saw her naked on the couch.
"What are you doing?" he asked.
"This is my love dress," she replied.
"Needs ironing," he says" "What's for dinner?"

[DanO]

^Saw this yesterday on FB. I have heard it before that.

[Malto Marko]

This is funny!

[edindetroit]

[emoji106]

[entropy]

Two friends, who had lost contact for many years, were catching up with each other. One asked, "So, you've got your own company, huh? How lucky!" The other replied, "Just a small one, nothing to be proud of."

Disbelieving, the first queried, "Small? How many people work in your company?"

The other sadly answered, "About half of them."

[entropy]

A man is sitting at the bar in his local tavern, furiously imbibing shots of whiskey. One of his friends happens to come into the bar and sees him.

"Lou," says the shocked friend, "what are you doing? I've known you for over fifteen years, and I've never seen you take a drink before. What's going on?"

Without even taking his eyes off his newly filled shot glass, the man replies, "My wife just ran off with my best friend."

He then throws back another shot of whiskey in one gulp.

"But," says the other man, "I'm your best friend!"

The man turns to his friend, looks at him through bloodshot eyes, smiles, and then slurs,

"Not anymore! ... He is!"

[entropy]

man code..

A proof that men have better friends:

A woman didn't come home one night. Next morning she told her husband she had slept over at a friends house. Husband calls her 10 best friends. None of them knew anything about it.

Man didn't come home one night. Next morning he says he slept over at a friends house. Wife calls his 10 best friends. Eight confirmed that he slept over and two said he was still there.

[Malto Marko]

LOL!

[Panoptes]

Always look forward to your jokes entropy. Funny stuff as usual.

[DanO]

Good one entropy.

[entropy]

Fred is 32 years old and he is still single.
One day a friend asked, "Why aren't you married? Can't you find a woman who will be a good wife?"
Fred replied, "Actually, I've found many women I wanted to marry, but when I bring them home to meet my parents, my mother doesn't like them."
His friend thinks for a moment and says, "I've got the perfect solution, just find a blonde who's just like your mother."
A few months later they meet again and his friend says, "Did you find the perfect blonde? Did your mother like her?"
With a frown on his face, Fred answers, "Yes, I found the perfect blonde. She was just like my mother. You were right, my mother liked her very much."
The friend said, "Then what's the problem?"
Fred replied, "My father doesn't like her."