Diary of a Madman---a collection of KANSAS' rants

[romster]

Hehe. The original conversation with God post was one of the best of all time.

[DanO]

"God banged Mary first. Then she got pregnant and God sent her to Earth and told Joseph he had to marry her so Jesus wouldn't be a bastard."
-----------------LMAO

GO LIONS "09' !!!!!!!!!

[Coop]

Kansaw - make it a note, you'll no longer need to keep referring to me by my formal name, "God"

since it's our second little chit chat, just call me Coop....

[romster]

[Sharkbait]

Coop:

Sorry to break your bubble, but just because he yelled out the window, "Gawd Almighty, get off the lawn" ..............................:-)

[YT]

Coop, I had no idea you were God. I always figured God to be taller

[Drew]

Kansas, you're going to hell.

And next time God asks you if you want him to kill Favre in a fiery car wreck, you say "YES!!!!!" How many times have we been through this?

[Kansas]

Yep, I'm dead and this is my ghost. I'm a ghost writer. Ha! Get it?

Never mind.

As I mentioned in the "attention whore" thread, Brett Favre's continued refusal to put himself out of my misery finally killed me. And, no, I am not walking into the light just yet because I'm super pissed at God right now. I mean, how can He blight my teenage masturbatory memories by giving Farrah Fawcett ass cancer and yet allow this prima douchebagga to continue to breathe the same air that I do...um, did...without even so much as a publicity-ending death career-ending injury?

/shakes fist at God

I want to meet the surgeon who repaired Favre's shoulder and punch him right in the mouth. I want to punch him right in the mouth because he had Favre right where we wanted him and he didn't intentionally botch the surgery like any other SANE person would have done. Geezus, doc, you had a chance to put a stop to this never-ending nightmare with a simple slip of the scapel. But nooooooooooo.....thanks to your bang-up job we get to hear shit like this:

"Favre is going to continue working out and throwing over the summer, and if a team comes calling later in the season then he said he'd have to seriously consider it."

Thanks, asshole!

Do you know what this means? It means every day for the next 6 months ESPN is going to make sure we know what this beard-stubbled assmunch had for breakfast, how his arm feels, what he's thinking, who he's talking to, what his sperm tastes like it. It means every freakin' time a quarterback goes down with so much as a hangnail some idiot announcer is going to make sure we realize that the great Brett Favre, the greatest QB to ever live, the future Hall-of-Famer, the gunslinger, the golden boy with the cannon arm and a child's love for the game is...wait for it....still fucking available!

Gawddammit! ARRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!

I swear, if I wasn't already dead I'd fuckin' off myself. I'll tell ya what, if I was ever locked in a room with Brett Favre and Osama Bin Laden, and I had a gun with only two bullets left in it.........I'd shoot Favre first. And so help me, if he was only wounded, I'd shoot him again.

[Sharkbait]

Atta boy,GK, keep the memory going. Uh, your memory, not Berts.

[Sweatpants Murphy]

Yeah, Basically.

[Coop]

Kansaw...you should know by now that I communicate in mysterious ways. Who said I don't have a sense of humor (twisted though it may be)?

[Kansas]

Yeah, Basically.

Favre lover.

[Coop]

course ah might smite down upon thee sans appropriate response....

[Drew]

RIP Kansas. But keep the rants coming.

[Sweatpants Murphy]

Favre lover.

Thems fightin' words