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I'm not even sure about that Malto.
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GO LIONS "24" !! -
bump19.1119, NO LONGER WAITINGComment
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Been way too busy to rant lately, so I'll let someone else do it for me. Below is from a commenter on Deadspin who actually posted this before the season started. It might be the best rant EVER. The caps are all his so I'll leave it the way it is even though it's harder to read. But I could just imagine him yelling this as he typed it. ENJOY!!
THE ONLY FUCKING TIME MY OLD MAN EVER EXPRESSES ANY HOPE OR OPTIMISM IS WHEN FOOTBALL SEASON APPROACHES. “HEY THEYRE LOOKING PRETTY GOOD THIS YEAR. WHO KNOWS?” WHO KNOWS? I FUCKING KNOW AND IVE ONLY BEEN WATCHING THIS FUCKING TEAM HALF AS LONG AS HE HAS. SIX WEEKS INTO THE SEASON THOUGH HE FINALLY GETS IT. THE LIONS DO SOME DUMB SHIT AND HES BACK TO HIS POSTGAME RITUAL OF TRASHING THE PLACE IN A MOTHERFUCKING RAGE AND GOING TO BED AT 5PM
POPS ONCE TOLD ME WITH AN INFUCKINGEXPRESSABLY SAD SERIOUSNESS “I WONT REST IN PEACE UNTIL THE LIONS WIN A SUPER BOWL. I MAY BE DEAD WHEN IT HAPPENS BUT WHEN THEY WIN ONE I’LL KNOW.” SERIOUSLY HE TOLD ME THAT SHIT ONCE. AND THATS WHY I WILL DESPISE MATT MILLEN UNTIL MY DYING BREATH. MATT MILLEN STOLE EIGHT YEARS FROM MY FATHER. EIGHT LONG YEARS. AND IF I EVER SEE THAT EMIL MUZZ LOOKING MOTHERFUCKER I’M GONNA COLLECT THAT DEBT TO THE FUCKING SECOND
FUCKING LIONS. A TEAM SO FUCKING SHITTY THAT IT MADE AN ARMY FIRST LIEUTENANT SAY FUCK IT I QUIT. WE LEVERAGE LEAGUE LEADERS INTO LOSING SEASONS AND ALLTIME GREATS INTO TOTAL MEDIOCRITY. WE REFLECT OUR CITY’S DYSFUNCTION, MISMANAGEMENT, MISERY AND PIGHEADED STUPIDITY LIKE A FUCKING MIRROR AND WE ALWAYS KID OURSELVES THAT IT’S SOMEHOW GETTING BETTER. SQUEAKY FROMME WASNT AS DELUDED AS WE ARE
THIS IS A TEAM WITH A CULTURE SO FUCKED UP THAT ONE OF THE BEST OFFENSIVE LINEMEN IN OUR TEAM HISTORY PROUDLY DECLARED THAT HE REPEATEDLY LET HIS QB GET DEMOLISHED BECAUSE HE DIDNT LIKE THE GUY. AND THIS WAS BACK WHEN WE ACTUALLY MADE THE FUCKING PLAYOFFS ON A REGULAR BASIS IF YOUR IMAGINATION CAN CONJURE SUCH A CIRCUMSTANCE. THAT’S OUR LIONS: EVEN WHEN THEYRE FLAILING ON THE CUSP OF GREATNESS THEY STILL FIND TIME TO BACKBITE AND FUMBLEFUCK AROUND. WHATEVER IT TAKES TO FUCK UP AND LET EVERYBODY DOWN.
DRAFT PICKS BURNED LIKE AUTUMN LEAVES. CHARLES ROGERS CAPS HIS 12-GAME PROFESSIONAL CAREER BY THREATENING TO MURDER HIS MOTHER AND PASSING OUT IN HIS BOOTH AT "ON THE BORDER" IN NOVI LIKE A FUCKING WINO. MIKE WILLIAMS SPENDS TWO YEARS FATTING AROUND IN DETROIT BEFORE GETTING FOLDED INTO A DOGSHIT TRADE WITH OAKLAND THAT ILLUSTRATED THE CONCEPT OF SUNK COST BETTER THAN ANY ECONOMICS TEXTBOOK EVER FUCKING COULD.
AND ALL THE WHILE WERE DICKING AROUND WITH THESE LOSERS, ANDRE JOHNSON AND DEMARCUS WARE ARE DOWN IN TEXAS RACKING UP ALLPRO HONORS LIKE REGGIE ROGERS RACKS UP VEHICULAR HOMICIDES AND BEN ROETHLISBERGER IS THE ALL-SEEING ALL-RAPING RINGBEARING FOOTBALL GOD OF YINZERLAND. THE MIND REELS
EVEN THE GOOD PICKS ARE WASTED IN THAT SPECIAL DETROIT WAY. MATTHEW STAFFORD? SURE THE FUCKING GUY LOOKS LIKE HE SHOULD BE OUT LOOKING FOR ONE EYED WILLIE’S TREASURE, BUT THE FACT IS HE’S THE FIRST LIONS QUARTERBACK IN DECADES THATS WORTH A BENT DICK AND YET SOMEHOW AFTER FOUR YEARS IN THE LEAGUE AND A COUPLE OF SEASONS OF MONSTER STATS AND A PLAYOFF APPEARANCE, HIS CAREER HIGHLIGHT REMAINS THAT TIME IN HIS ROOKIE YEAR WHEN HE PEELED HIMSELF OFF THE FIELD TO GET THE WIN IN A SHOOTOUT WITH BRADY FUCKING QUINN OF ALL FUCKING CLIPBOARD STANDS. IT WAS A FEAT OF HEROISM SO BOLD AND SO MEANINGLESS IT WAS LIKE RUNNING INTO A BURNING BUILDING TO SAVE A GOLDFISH. WE WENT 2-14 THAT YEAR AND WE STILL TALK ABOUT THAT GAME LIKE IT WAS OUR PERSONAL FUCKING SEA OF HANDS.
COACHES COME TO DETROIT TO FUCKING DIE AND OFTEN RIGHTLY SO. THAT FUCKING IMBECILE MARTY MORNHINWEG FOR INSTANCE. FUCKING GUY WINNING THE COIN TOSS THEN STUPEFUCKINGFYINGLY GIVING THE MOTHERFUCKING BALL TO THE MOTHERFUCKING FUCKING BEARS WHO OF COURSE PROMPTLY SCORE. HE SHOULDVE BEEN COURT-MARTIALED AND EXECUTED RIGHT THEN AND FUCKING THERE. EITHER THEN OR THAT TIME HE MADE SOME BIG PRODUCTION OF ROARING OUT OF PRACTICE ON HIS HARLEY LIKE HE WAS CLAY FUCKING MORROW AND NOT SOME OVERPROMOTED DIPSHIT WITH NO BUSINESS WHATSOEVER MANNING THE CAPTAINS WHEEL. I CAN SCARCELY DREAM UP A MORE FITTING HELL FOR AN ASSHOLE LIKE THAT THAN BEING TASKED WITH UNTANGLING THE LOW RENT QUARTERBACK CLUSTERFUCK IN THE JETS CAMP
THEN IT WAS STEVE MARIUCCI. THE MITT ROMNEY OF NFL COACHES. THAT BLAND WEATHERMAN VENEER OF COMPETENCE WITH THE UNMISTAKABLE AIR OF A MAN WHO WOULD RATHER BE ANYFUCKINGPLACE ELSE. DUDE ONLY CAME TO DETROIT AS A FAVOR TO HIS FAT STUPID FRIEND WHO WAS TOO FUCKING DUMB TO TAKE CARE OF THINGS HIMSELF. KINDA LIKE NED STARK. TURNED OUT ABOUT THE SAME WAY FOR HIM TOO
AFTER THAT WAS MARINELLI BRINGING THE KIND OF DARK ARITHMETIC THAT TRANSFORMS 6-2 TO 7-9 TO 0-16. NOW ITS COACH SCHWARTZ SWIRLING DOWN THE DRAIN. HE TAKES HIS FASHION CUES FROM THE DOG WHISPERER AND ALL HE THINKS ABOUT ON GAMEDAY IS WHETHER HE SHOULD LISTEN TO BILLY SQUIER OR THE FUCKING SCORPIONS. BUT AT LEAST HIS HEART’S IN IT. AND THAT PASSIONS GONNA SERVE HIM WELL IN A YEAR AFTER HES SCORED THAT PLUM ASSISTANT DEFENSIVE COORDINATOR GIG WITH THE JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS.
THESE ARE THE DETROIT FUCKING LIONS WERE TALKING ABOUT. EVEN IF IT’S THE BEST CASE SCENARIO EVEN IF MY EVERY LAST FUCKING ROCKHARD REGULAR SEASON FANTASY COMES TRUE IN THE END SOMEHOW THEY WILL UNDO IT ALL.
BECAUSE WHEN IT COMES TO THE DETROIT LIONS THERE IS NO FAIRY TALE. ITS ALL JUST A BIG JERKOFF. A SADISTIC FUCKING TORTURE GAME PUT ON FOR THE AMUSEMENT OF MILLIONAIRES WITH MISTER RICTUS HIMSELF WILLIAM CLAY FUCKING FORD SENIOR PULLING THE STRINGS. HA HA MADE YA CARE!
UGH. FUCKING LIONS.Last edited by Kansas; September 17, 2013, 11:43 AM.It's so flat you can watch your dog run away for three days.Comment
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Thanks for sharing that brillian rant KANSAS.
I lol at work.
Loved this part:
HIS (Matt Stafford) CAREER HIGHLIGHT REMAINS THAT TIME IN HIS ROOKIE YEAR WHEN HE PEELED HIMSELF OFF THE FIELD TO GET THE WIN IN A SHOOTOUT WITH BRADY FUCKING QUINN OF ALL FUCKING CLIPBOARD STANDS. IT WAS A FEAT OF HEROISM SO BOLD AND SO MEANINGLESS IT WAS LIKE RUNNING INTO A BURNING BUILDING TO SAVE A GOLDFISH. WE WENT 2-14 THAT YEAR AND WE STILL TALK ABOUT THAT GAME LIKE IT WAS OUR PERSONAL FUCKING SEA OF HANDS.
*So many Lions fans here worship that play to this day and I have NEVER ONCE uttered anything positive about that play because since the day I witnessed it, I found it to be fake ass drama (you would too, if you witnessed a DL'man play with a broken leg before-that pales in comparison). Of course he got up to throw the pass, it wasn't his throwing arm that was hurt. He's the QB and any QB with an ounce of adrenaline in him is going to go make that last attempt.
BFD!
Look at the record since and more importantly, look at the record against winning teams. Not just for him, but the entire shitty org.Last edited by Panoptes; September 17, 2013, 12:10 PM.19.1119, NO LONGER WAITINGComment
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If Joey fucking Harrington had made that pass you'd be the first on to declare him the next coming of joe montanaComment
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Hey DWT,
Go back to kayaking under a waterspout.
You are still clueless about what JOE H has to do with any of my commentary.
I WAS NEVER A JOE H. FAN. I DIDN'T WANT HIM DRAFTED NOR DID I EVER ONCE BUY ANY MERCHANDISE RELATED TO HIM BECAUSE I WAS NOT A FAN.
Everything I reference back to JOE H has to do with trying to show how piss poor of an org. DET was on how they failed yet another high draft pick the way they brought him along.
So like always, I ask you to go F yourself.19.1119, NO LONGER WAITINGComment
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ALL HE THINKS ABOUT ON GAMEDAY IS WHETHER HE SHOULD LISTEN TO BILLY SQUIER OR THE FUCKING SCORPIONS. BUT AT LEAST HIS HEART?S IN IT. AND THAT PASSIONS GONNA SERVE HIM WELL IN A YEAR AFTER HES SCORED THAT PLUM ASSISTANT DEFENSIVE COORDINATOR GIG WITH THE JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS.
Hahahahahaha"I ain't the type to bitch, I ain't the type to cry, I will sit at your red light and wait for your shit to go by."Comment
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WTF is this? I've read Chemiclord and Deuce verbals..... But Panoptes and DWT??
Can't we all be pals and take it up the ringpiece like MT3 wants everyone to do?!
Just joking. Kick Ass, dudes."...when Hibernian won the Scottish Cup final and that celebration, Sunshine on Leith? I don’t think there’s a better football celebration ever in the game.”
Sir Alex FergusonComment
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I second that.Originally posted by kayrone View Post"Don?t worry about a thing, every little thing is gonna be alright. - Bob Marley "Comment
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Great find Kansas, I myself only found it a month ago
Lions free since 6/23/2020Comment
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The Joey Harrington talk never gets old.
Oh, wait...Comment
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I long for a Lions team that is consistently competitive.Comment
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Originally posted by dwt1 View Post
he would have blown that WC QB in hte end zone.The only logical explanation is:
I'm about to die and this is my Jacob's LadderComment
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Son. Of. A. Bitch.Originally posted by Frank Van Dusen View PostGreat find Kansas, I myself only found it a month ago
http://www.detroitlionsforum.com/for...ostcount=13054
Sorry, FVD. Just proves I'm not hanging out here as much as I should. It is funny though.It's so flat you can watch your dog run away for three days.Comment
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What thread was that, BTW?It's so flat you can watch your dog run away for three days.Comment
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