Diary of a Madman---a collection of KANSAS' rants

[Sharkbait]

...

[THE STEE]

lol Shark

[dsred]

Lol Kansas.

And Shark, that's one big weiner...

[chemiclord]

Well, they do say Shark is an enormous dick...

[Sharkbait]

Well, they do say Shark still is an enormous dick...

FIFY.

[Sweatpants Murphy]

I hate Brett Favre. Wait. Scratch that. That's a little harsh, so let me rephrase. I fucking HATE Brett Favre. There, that's much better. Ya know, the F-bomb, when used properly, is like adding another chick to your lovemaking. I'll bet.

Brett Favre must die. Nothing else matters. This Sunday, Gunther Cunningham has to call blitzes like he's drunk-dialing. Every down. I mean, his name is Gunther and he was born in Germany. He needs to pull on his jackboots, spit-shine his Iron Cross and blitz like he's storming the Polish border. What? You don't get the analogy? See, when World War II started the Germans invaded.......oh, never mind. For those of you who didn't pay attention in school and are also too lazy to Google it, I'll tell a dick joke later.

This Sunday, I don't care about the score. I don't care about Adrian Peterson. Hell, he'll get his 300 yards. A Lions game without a career day is rarer than a coyote running off with a Maltipoo. Peterson's going to get his yards, so go ahead and let him. I don't care.

But Favre? Dead man. I want him bleeding internally. Fuck that. I want him bleeding externally too. I want broken bones and a gurney on the field. I want distraught announcers reverently whispering if the gunslinger has finally slung his last....um.....gun.

I never again want to hear his lying, fake, hillbilly ass tell any more madeup stories about his crying 10-year-old daughter saying, "Daddy, I want you to win another Super Bowl. Boo hoo hoo. Oh, daddy!" Gawd. I just threw up a little. He was more believable as Cameron Diaz's boyfriend in "There's Something About Mary."

No. No more. No more, "But I jus wunna play. Sniff." Huh uh. If they don't kill him, I want that sumbitch paralyzed from the mouth down. Got that, Gunther? Foote? JP? Delmas? Sims? Oh. Not you Sims. Never mind. But the rest of you, I don't want Favre to retire from football, I want him to expire from football.

Oh. Almost forgot. My dick is huge.

I'd like to officially ask you to be my mentor. I thought my hate for brett favre was advanced, but you sir are on a much higher level. Please teach me how to hate favre like you.

[YT]

SPM,

Kansas no longer mentors young Lions fans due to the restraining order against him and his status on the Meagan's Law list!

[Lightningdan]

ROFL oh man.. This was a great way to spend an hr or 2 laughing till my guts bleed. I'm sending Kansas my gastro specialist bill.

[dwt1]

I'd like to officially ask you to be my mentor. I thought my hate for brett favre was advanced, but you sir are on a much higher level. Please teach me how to hate favre like you.

don't get the hate of Favre, he's a fierce competator, wish we had a few Favre's on our team, instead we get fucking barry sanders, who gave a shit about the game

[Adamantine]

How are you gonna send a ghost a bill?

[CGVT]

don't get the hate of Favre, he's a fierce competator, wish we had a few Favre's on our team, instead we get fucking barry sanders, who gave a shit about the game

[dwt1]

just a statement of fact

[CGVT]

I agree with the first part of your statement, but you are not drawing me into that tired old argument on the last part...

[Sweatpants Murphy]

we're talking about a guy who can bitch and whine about his GM not hiring his buddy as head coach without repercussion. he can throw a tantrum and refuse to be a mentor to a young draft pick without an fucking shred of ridicule. he's allowed make several mistakes at critical points in a game and still have a fucking job.

this is a guy that decides to retire until training camp is almost over then jump on board with everyone else for the last two preseason games, and motherfuckers are cool with that! not once has he ever been accused of trying to be bigger than the rest of the team.

I want you to tell me with 100% honesty that randy moss could get away with the same thing. I want you to tell me that eli manning could do the exact same thing and get such a positive reaction.

mark fucking schlereth (impossible to say his last name without sounding drunk) would be all over them saying that NO PLAYER IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ANOTHER ON THE TEAM. i mean, fuck he said the same thing to randy moss when he "mooned" packers fans. but brett douche fucking bag godamn favre gets a free pass when he gives the entire nfl the middle finger and says "I'm too good to go through training camp"????

are you fucking serious?

how is this guy allowed to get special treatment over anyone else? dan marino wouldn't have gotten away with this shit either!

[-Deborah-]

Sucker.