Diary of a Madman---a collection of KANSAS' rants

[YT]

She looks great in dem genes, too.;)

She looks good out of 'em too! :D

[Panoptes]

Congratulations to the Kansas family.

I have a question though, are there enough players in all of NE to field a team of 9 or do they play 5 man baseball in that state?



j/k

Hope your boys get great scholarships playing the game that they love and apparently excel at.

[Kansas]

What's the difference between All-Nebraska and All-State. Isn't Nebraska still a state??

Who knew TFF was such a good athlete?

SLF, there are several "classes" in the state. For example, Class A are the biggest schools, Class B are the next biggest, etc.

When you make All Nebraska, you are basically the best at your position when including all the classes. Some players from Class B, for example, made the All Nebraska team.

"All State" is for players within their own class. So you may not make the All Nebraska team, but you can make All State.

Clear as mud?

[SeattleLionsFan]

Clear as a bell Kans. Same as All-pro and Probowl...

[Jdoggie]

I don't mind the family talk....I just miss the rants and when I see this thread is active I hope there is a new one.

[Kansas]

Kansas' Post Game Commentary

Month: September
Day: 7
Year: Who Cares
Opponent: Does it matter
Outcome: Duh


Do you know how you can tell the difference between the Detroit Lions and any other NFL team?.................................Lipstick.

Only the Lions could take an ageless gridiron term like "tackling dummies" and redefine it to mean "the eleven guys who play defense." You could have sailed an aircraft carrier down the field and not touched the sides of their defense. They truly are the Panama Canal of modern football.

I thought these guys were supposed to be "Marinelli guys." I guess that means they have fucked up teeth and hitch their pants up over their belly button. They have the tenacity of Anna Nicole Smith trying to prevent a curious mortician from staring at her va-jay-jay. Is it just me or does Marinelli look like the bastard love child of Gilbert Gottfried and the old lady from "Throw Momma From The Train?"

Watching our defense run after Falcons' running backs was like watching Arethra Franklin chase down a greased cheetah. I'd rather watch a 3-hour rap concert starring the FreeCreditReport.com guy.

The Lions head office tells us that we should "Believe in Now." Seriously, I wouldn't believe in Now if Now turned the Nile into blood and parted the Red Sea. I am officially a Now atheist. If by some chance I am wrong and Now actually does exist, then when I meet Now in the Great Beyond I'm gonna say, "Hi, Now! How ya doin'?" And then I'm gonna kick Now right in the nuts. I would be afraid of Now hell, but guess what? I'm already there.

What is the deal with the "courageous" Jon Kitna? He needed a half-yard on one play for a first down and could've crawled on his hands and knees for a touchdown on another. Come on, Jon! This is NOW, remember? I haven't seen anybody that scared to run since a black guy in a B horror movie. For a guy who holds prayer meetings in his own home he sure is afraid to die. I don't think I've seen a bigger pussy since Obese Denise forced me to go to Senior Prom. I'm starting to wonder if Kitna really believes in God.................or Now. I'm not sure who he's praying to but his requests are getting garbled in transmission like a bad Jack-In-The-Box intercom.

Maybe we should just get a fanatical Islamic terrorist to be our quarterback. Shit, they blow themselves up for a chance at a few heavenly virgins, so maybe they'll get a half-yard on third down for 8 million dollars. Because, honestly, eight mill can buy a lot of earthly virgins which, if you think about it, is really the best bet. It's the whole "bird in the hand" theory.

Could you imagine Abdul Hassan Mohammed starting at QB for the Lions? He wouldn't wear a stinkin' flak jacket. Hell no! That's for pussies! Our QB would wear a suicide vest! (Take that, Favre!) There would be holes blown open at the line of scrimmage that Lions fans could only dream of! Somebody pinch me. I think I'm in Now heaven.

I don't know, people. The offense looked OK considering it is the Lions, but if you compared the defense to, say, the Great Wall of China, it would be the crack that could, possibly, if you stepped on it just right break your momma's back. Marinelli says the defense can be fixed. Is that really a good idea? I had my cat fixed and it won't cross the line of scrimm.....................I mean, the road anymore.

Lions Fans, there are a lot of things I don't know about the rest of the season, but there is one thing I know for sure. The Video Professor? He's a dead man. That old fuck is on the air more than Obama, McCain, Palin, Oprah and Favre combined. And if I ever find out where he lives, I swear to Now I will break into his house in the middle of the night and smother him with his own pillow.

[gjdodger]

Wow. And here I thought George Carlin was dead.

[CGVT]

I don't think I've seen a bigger pussy since Obese Denise forced me to go to Senior Prom.

Ha!

[Malto Marko]

Heeeeeeees baaaaaaccccckkkkkkkkk!

Nice, Kansaw!

[romster]

I'd rather watch a 3-hour rap concert starring the FreeCreditReport.com guy.

LOL! Those commercials are so dumb.

[DanO]

LOL. Good one Kansas.

GO LIONS "08" !!!!!!!!

[Panoptes]

About the only valid thread in this entire forum these days.

Thx 4 the effort

[SeattleLionsFan]

Kansas, that is awesome.

[jeweler man]

Sweet stuff Kansas. Your too good at this.

[Timmy]

Awesome stuff as always Kansas!!!