Diary of a Madman---a collection of KANSAS' rants

[unknown lions fan]

I love the Wish You Were Here album. Shine On You Crazy Diamond is to be listened to cranked up to the bejeses belt. There's some exquisite guitar prior to the vocals.

You ain't kiddin' Drew. Wish You Were Here is my favorite Floyd album, and there's nothing like 12 minutes of Shine On You Crazy Diamond. I crank it up on high (and listen to it 2-3 times...)

In fact, I think I'll go load it up right now.

[Drew]

Sounds like a winner. Me too.

[Kansas]

A few quick observations after week 1:

The Game – It ended just like we all knew it would, but what makes it worse is how hard the Lions tried. It was nice to see, but it really hurts to have such a great effort end with that result. It’s like finally having sex with Maria Sharapova and no matter what you do or how well you do it, you find out she doesn’t make a peep.

Charles Rogers – Charles found out the hard way that you don’t mess with a tough Italian boss like the Godfather Marinelli. Charles didn’t just come to work and find his locker cleaned out. He woke up on cut day with a severed horse head under the sheets. To show there were no hard feelings and it was just “family” business, Marinelli asked Charles to join him at his lake house for a little fishing and barbecue. A terrified Charles turned him down because the directions to the lake included taking a turnpike. Poor Charles didn’t know if he was going to buy it at the toll booth like Sonny in Part I, or Fredo on the row boat in Part II.

Mike Martz – Like almost everyone else, I was surprised to see Martz calling plays from the booth instead of down on the sideline. My guess is the stench of the offense doesn’t reek so bad way up there. He must have a hypersensitive gag reflex. Not to worry though, another year or two watching the Lions he’ll have the same iron stomach as their fans.

Roy Williams – The worst team in the league over the last five years, and the under-achieving Roy guarantees victory. What did Millen think of the guarantee? “Hey, I'll tell you what. You can take a good look at a butcher's ass by sticking your head up there. But, wouldn't you rather to take his word for it? I mean, you can get a good look at a T-bone by sticking your head up a butcher's ass, but then…………um………………what are lookin’ at, faggot!”

[Panoptes]

u r an absolute kook

And I love it.

[SeattleLionsFan]

Well done Kans...

[-Deborah-]

Loud sex rules!

[DanO]

Alright Deb.

GO LIONS "06" !!!!!!

[Panoptes]

Loud sex rules!

Not when its coming from the adjacent hotel room and keeping you up all night.

WTF's wrong with people, don't they know married people are trying to sleep.

[Coop]

well, if ya can't beat em....JOIN the fun!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Malto Marko]

Not when its coming from the adjacent hotel room and keeping you up all night.

WTF's wrong with people, don't they know married people are trying to sleep.

Heh, heh. They usually put you older fogies on the lower floors so as to not be a problem in case the elevator is out. If you find yourself on an upper floor, expect the rambouxiousness of youth to prevail.

[THE STEE]

one night the neighbors were talking loud at 2 in the morning, nosey, what are they doin kind of people. so the wife and i are in bed listening to them for a change and i get the bright idea of going to the window when it quieted down and said " bark like a dog were goin doggy syle" on cue my wife starts woofin and we are layin in bed having a giggle cuz it gets real quiet over there. next day the neighbor lady says to me " sleep good last night?' "Like a dog" I said. she got all red in the face and left..... giggles all around for like a month. Loud sex rules even if you don't have any.....lol

[-Deborah-]

haha, Dale

[holyterror]

lol

[The Ken]

lmao

[Kansas]

CHIANG MAI, Thailand (AP) - There's the Panda Express fast-food chain. Jing Jing, a mascot for the 2008 Beijing Olympics. The forthcoming animated movie, Kung Fu Panda. Even a Mexican rock band named after the cuddly bear.

Not to be outdone, Thailand has come up with yet another, seemingly unlikely way to capitalize on this globally loved, bamboo-munching animal — panda poop.

When keepers of the country's panda couple — Chuang Chuang and Lin Hui — got tired of disposing the 55 pounds of feces daily produced by the duo, Prasertsak Buntragulpoontawee came up with the idea of turning it all into notebooks, fans, bookmarks and key chains.

"At first the Chinese were very skeptical," says the head of Chiang Mai Zoo's panda unit, referring to the proprietary attitude China takes toward its iconic animal.

But the multicolored paper products have proved hot selling-items at the zoo, with the 300,000 baht (US $8,200) earned to date helping balance the accounts of panda keeping.

The Thai government pays $250,000 a year to China's Wulong Panda Research Institute to rent the pandas, who, depending on the weather, reside in either a $1 million air-conditioned cage or an extensive, fan-cooled outdoor enclosure ringed by a mini-replica of China's Great Wall.

Panda poop paper production involves a daylong process of cleaning the feces, boiling it in a soda solution, bleaching it with chlorine and drying it under the sun. Experimentation continues on how to reduce the chemicals now used.

Prasertsak says he was inspired by sa paper, or mulberry leaf paper, a traditional, local product which has proved a highly popular gift item in recent years.

"We tried selling it on markets outside but so far with not so much success," he says. "But in the zoo, when people see real pandas and then their product they're excited and buy."

So what does all this have to do with the Detroit Lions?

When Detroit Lions owner William Clay Ford heard of this achievement he immediately began the process of firing much-maligned Lions President Matt Millen and bringing in Prasertsak to manage the team.

"Hell, I know how the guy feels," Ford said. "I get tired of disposing of Matt's 225 pound first round draft picks. So I thought, gee, if he can make a key chain out of shit, maybe he can make a real NFL football team out of the Lions."

However, after consulting with his legal advisors, Ford - in a drastic turn of events - halted negotiations with Prasertsak and then promptly sued him.

"At first, I thought Mr. Bungholespoonwhoopee..........um, I mean.......... Mr. Brothelpoontangweewee..........how the hell do you pronounce his?...........aw, screw it...........Mr. B. was a genius and would be a fantastic addition to our front office," Ford said. "But during a meeting with my legal staff to discuss the termination of Matt's contract, I was reminded that I have had a patent on profiting from shit since 1964, and I'll be damned if I'm going to stand by and let some Commie bastard steal the intellectual property that this organization has clung so fervently to for the last 42 years. So we're suing the son-of-a-bitch for infringement."