I Like Pie

[Marko69]

Oh aye...... I forgot about that. Won’t work over there. 🤦♂️ You erseholes changed it didn’t you? Didn’t like the traditional way your ancestors did it; small to large...... day, month, year.......... fkn naw, some clown decided,

“I KNOW, let’s swap that shit, let’s make it the middle biggest thing first then put the smallest one in the middle but keep the biggest thing at the end? How’s that sound?”
“FUCK yeah, dude!” 👏👏👏
”Dude? What is dude?”
“We thunk it up on the boat. Fuck all that “good sir” shite. We say dude now.”
“I say old chap, are we allowed?”
”Listen, old cunt. It’s dude now ok?”
”I’ll have to pass it with the four fathers you understand.”
“Fuck those cunts.”
”Really, Sir......”
”You want me to go invent a gun and shoot your ass, dude?”

[dpatnod]

We'll just do it on December 2nd, like any NORMAL person would.

FFS you dudes are cunts.

[Marko69]

"Dude, he didn't turn up."
"When?"
"Yesterday."
"Was he supposed to turn up yesterday?"
"Yes. 12/2/21."
"12/2/21? You serious?"
"Yep."
"Thats December."
"What is?"
"12/2/21."
"Since when?"
"Since some cunt on the boat changed it. Remember?"
"OH yeah thats right."
"So, he's not due for another ten months."
"So?"
"What?"
"You said the word so. Why?"
"Oh yeah, thats another thing we dudes decided to start. Say the word so before we talk."
"Isn't that irritating though?"
"Not as irritating as you thinking its December you stupid fucker."
"So, point taken, Sir"
"Its dude to you, ......, cunt. Fuck off and build me a rifle"

[dpatnod]

[Marko69]

[dpatnod]

[Marko69]

No helmet hanging down near the knees. Not an accurate photo. Either that or that bloke is English.

[dpatnod]

OK, short story. About a million years ago, I worked at my buddies restaraunt. He was a Cicilian originally.

There were a pair of sisters working there also at the time (one I was dating). One of them had brought in this little wind up toy... it was literally a "bell end" on two little feet. You wound it up and it hopped around.

So this is sitting on a counter in the back. At this time, I am working with another third girl in the kitchen. This girl's friend comes up to talk to her. They are outside the back door chatting.

So, ..... I take a paper towel tube, and tape the hopping toy to the end of it. Stick it in my knee-length shorts so it just sticks out at my knee.

While these two girls are out back chatting..... I casually walk out the back door and light a cigarette. Minding my own business off about 10 feet from these two girls I just hang out for a few.

As I am turning to go back in, I hear "Oh my GOD!!!!!!!!!" from the co-worker's female friend. I knew the toy had been spotted. I just turn straight-faced, never really reacting to her scream and walk back inside with my best Leslie Neilsen dead pan face.

Always wondered what was discussed after I left. LOL.

[Marko69]

That is absolutely fkn hilarious. .Walking back in with the Leslie Neilson dead pan face cracked me up. Flippin magic.

[dpatnod]

It still cracks me up to remember. You should've heard that 'Oh my GOD' gasp.

[chemiclord]

Shame you didn't stick around, you would have heard what it was really about.

"What was wrong with his hair? It looked like a swallow had tried to make a nest out of it, then gave up halfway through!"

"I dunno. He's always been a strange one. Keeps staring at my sister's toy. You know, the one that looks like a pecker head."

"You think he might be... one of those guys?"

"Wouldn't surprise me. He looks like the sorta guy who has an insatiable thirst for cock."

[dpatnod]

Nope. This was a best friend of the younger sister, and a friend of hers - neither of the sisters were there. And since I was railing her best friend - the younger sister - I doubt that was the convo.

[The King]

If that happened today not only would you be cancelled, you would be facing a firing squad. Not to mention the girl you were fucking would have a bigger dick than you, and her name would be Karen, Karl, or Karoline.

[dpatnod]

[dpatnod]

Sigh.... That was good pie. Paired well with Dixon's Cider.