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Old June 12th, 2008, 10:12 AM   #21
-Deborah-
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Quote:
Originally Posted by King Cole View Post
St. Peter is at the Pearly Gates checking up on the people waiting to enter Heaven. He asks the next one in line, "So, who are you, and what did
you do on Earth?"

The fellow says, "I'm Barack Obama, and I was the first Non-Christian to be elected President of the United States "

St. Peter says, "The U.S.? A Muslim President ? You gotta be kidding me!
When did this happen?"
And Obama says, "About twenty minutes ago."
I'm really embarrassed for you.
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Old June 12th, 2008, 12:06 PM   #22
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Anybody remember the movie “12 Angry Men”?

I paraphrase a discussion between two jurors:

Fan #1: Are you a Bears Fan?
Fan #2: Nope, Lions
Fan #1: Lions? That's like getting hit in the head with a crowbar once a week.
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Old June 14th, 2008, 05:46 AM   #23
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Guys just can't win no matter what they do.

TO BE 6 AGAIN

A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, observing his wife turning back and forth, looking at herself in the mirror.


Since her birthday was not far off, he asked what
she'd like to have for her Birthday.


I'd like to be six again, she replied, still looking
in the mirror.


On the morning of her Birthday, he arose early, made
her a nice big bowl of Lucky Charms,
and then took her to Six Flags theme park.

What a day ! He
put her on every
ride in the park; the DeathSlide, the Wall of Fear,theScreaming Monster Roller Coaster... everything there was.

Five hours Later they staggered out
of the theme park. Her head was reeling and her stomach felt upside down.

He then took her to a McDonald's where he ordered
her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a chocolate shake.


Then it was off to a movie, popcorn, a soda pop,and
her favorite candy, M&M's. What a fabulous adventure !

Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed exhausted.


He leaned over his wife with a big smile and lovingly asked, Well Dear, what
was it like being six again ??


Her eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly
changed.


I meant my Dress Size, you dumb ass !!


The moral of the story: Even when a man is listening, he is going to get it
wrong.
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Old June 14th, 2008, 09:10 AM   #24
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lol
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Old June 14th, 2008, 07:58 PM   #25
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Quote:
Originally Posted by King Cole View Post
St. Peter is at the Pearly Gates checking up on the people waiting to enter Heaven. He asks the next one in line, "So, who are you, and what did
you do on Earth?"


The fellow says, "I'm Barack Obama, and I was the first Non-Christian to be elected President of the United States "


St. Peter says, "The U.S.? A Muslim President ? You gotta be kidding me!
When did this happen?"
And Obama says, "About twenty minutes ago."
Is this supposed to be one of those so stupid it's funny kind of jokes? For your sake, I sure hope so.
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Old June 14th, 2008, 11:22 PM   #26
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I became confused when I heard these terms which reference the word "service".

Internal Revenue "Service"
U.S. Postal "Service"
Telephone "Service"
T.V. "Service"

Civil "Service"
City & County Public "Service"
Customer "Service"

Electric "Service"
and "Service" Stations


This is not what I thought "service" meant. But today, I overheard two farmers talking, and one of them said he had hired a bull to "service" a few cows. BAM!!! It all came into perspective. I now understand what all those "service" agencies are doing to us.


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Old June 15th, 2008, 07:34 AM   #27
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Three women die together in an accident and go to heaven.

When they get there, St. Peter says, "We only have one rule here in heaven.

Don't step on the ducks."

So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their best to avoid them, the first woman accidentally steps on one.

Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw. St. Peter chains them together and says, "Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity with this ugly man!"

The next day, the second woman accidentally steps on a duck, and along comes St. Peter, who doesn't miss a thing, and with him is another extremely ugly man. He chains them together with the same punishment as the first woman.

The third woman has observed all this and not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly man, is very, VERY careful where she steps. She manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, but one day St. Peter comes up to her with the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on... very tall, tan, muscular, and with good hair.

St. Peter chains them together without saying a word. The woman remarks, "I wonder what I did to deserve being with you for all of eternity?" And the guy says, "Well, I don't know what you did, but I stepped on a duck."
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Old June 15th, 2008, 07:57 AM   #28
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Quote:
Originally Posted by -Deborah- View Post
I'm really embarrassed for you.
.
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Old June 15th, 2008, 08:26 AM   #29
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Quote:
Originally Posted by -Deborah- View Post
I'm really embarrassed for you.
Quote:
Originally Posted by romster View Post
.
Quote:
Originally Posted by OR Lion View Post
Is this supposed to be one of those so stupid it's funny kind of jokes? For your sake, I sure hope so.

I thought it was kind of funny. Its a joke, you know not to be taken seriously kind of thing.
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Old June 15th, 2008, 08:29 AM   #30
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I'll watch where i step with the ducks..
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Old June 15th, 2008, 09:08 AM   #31
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What part was funny, exactly? The part that said he was Muslim when in reality he isn't? Or the part that implied he'll be assasinated as soon as he's elected?

Guess I'm weird. I don't find ignorant, racist, murderous jokes to be funny.
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Old June 15th, 2008, 10:45 AM   #32
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I didn't find any humor in it either, and the thought of Obama as president scares me.

Of course, so does McCain... we're FUBARed.
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Old June 15th, 2008, 10:48 AM   #33
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Quote:
Originally Posted by -Deborah- View Post
What part was funny, exactly? The part that said he was Muslim when in reality he isn't? Or the part that implied he'll be assasinated as soon as he's elected?

Guess I'm weird. I don't find ignorant, racist, murderous jokes to be funny.
There is no way I want this thread to turn into a politics thread but, I came across this recently which might have been a reason the "joke" was created.

In Obama's own words


This guy wants to be our President and control our government.
Pay close attention to the last comment!! Below are a few lines from
Obama's books ' his words:


From Dreams of My Father: 'I ceased to advertise my mother's race at the age of 12 or 13, when I began to suspect that by doing so I was ingratiating myself to whites.'

From Dreams of My Father
: 'I found a solace in nursing a pervasive sense of grievance and animosity against my mothers race.'

From Dreams of My Father: 'There was something about him that made me wary, a little too sure of himself, maybe. And white.'


From Dreams of My Father: ; 'It remained necessary to prove which side you were on , to show your loyalty to the black masses, to strike out and name names.'

From Dreams of My Father
: 'I never emulate white men and brown men whose fates didn't speak to my own. It was into my father's image, the black man, son of Africa , that I'd packed all the attributes I sought in myself, the attributes of Martin and Malcolm, DuBois and Mandela.'

From Audacity of Hope: 'I will stand with the Muslims should the political winds shift in an ugly direction.'
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Old June 15th, 2008, 10:57 AM   #34
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That doesn't seem funny at all Malto. Are you sure that's even supposed to be a joke?
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Old June 15th, 2008, 11:02 AM   #35
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It is not a joke. If you read my opening comments, I said I do not want to turn this thread into a political one. These are actual statements in books he wrote. I am only suggesting that with the information in these quotes, one might better understand why someone else would create a sick joke like the one that is being questioned.

Put me on record as being in the group that did not think the joke was funny but, I believe similar jokes have been made in the past only different candidates names used.
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Old June 15th, 2008, 11:07 AM   #36
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Man, the internet has made ignorance and racism so much easier, hasn't it?

Do any of your mindless folks reading such emails EVER stop to consider they're not quite true? Over and over in the forum, people have posted such stupid shit that normal folks would easily recognize to be quotes taken out of context or made up just to further one's own political agenda. Yet they post them here and IT MUST BE TRUE, I GOT IT IN EMAIL!!!!!

Dumbasses.

If I could copy and paste the truth about each quote above, I would, but they've disabled that feature. I doubt the ignorant will bother to read the truth as it contradicts what they want to believe. But just in the off chance that someone, somewhere might want to...

http://www.snopes.com/politics/obama/ownwords.asp
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Old June 15th, 2008, 11:10 AM   #37
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Perhaps you could better fulfill your stated intent of not turning the joke thread into a political thread by posting jokes in the joke thread, and political bullshit in the politics forum. Posting jokes in the joke thread, will probably keep the joke thread to be about jokes. Just a thought.

Plus it took about .18 seconds to find further explanation for this piece and show its nothing but a political smear job. http://www.snopes.com/politics/obama/ownwords.asp
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Old June 15th, 2008, 11:10 AM   #38
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Quote:
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These are actual statements in books he wrote.
See the link above and get back to me on how "actual" these statements really are.

Oh and how bout bookmarking Snopes.com before spreading that shit to other folks who also think everything they see online is true?
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Old June 15th, 2008, 04:17 PM   #39
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Quote:
Originally Posted by -Deborah- View Post
Man, the internet has made ignorance and racism so much easier, hasn't it?

Do any of your mindless folks reading such emails EVER stop to consider they're not quite true? Over and over in the forum, people have posted such stupid shit that normal folks would easily recognize to be quotes taken out of context or made up just to further one's own political agenda. Yet they post them here and IT MUST BE TRUE, I GOT IT IN EMAIL!!!!!

Dumbasses.

If I could copy and paste the truth about each quote above, I would, but they've disabled that feature. I doubt the ignorant will bother to read the truth as it contradicts what they want to believe. But just in the off chance that someone, somewhere might want to...

http://www.snopes.com/politics/obama/ownwords.asp
I do not disagree, but, are they, or are they not, quotes from his writing?
Taken out of context? Almost always. Accurate? That is up for you to decide.


Again, I do not want to turn this into a politics discussion but I only offered it as a possible reason for the joke, no matter how much I disliked it.
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Old June 15th, 2008, 05:42 PM   #40
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Sigh.

Why not read the page I linked to? The whole point is that they are not QUOTES from his writing.
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